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Just Me

There are no eyes to behold me,
No love to dance with me,and no heart to bleed and pity me.
Compassion has failed me,woe to me..that I am me.
The souls who once wept and grieved for me,
embracing and soothing my misery, waved
goodbye,departed and are not.
Grace and mercy
my twin friends
shunned and abandoned me,and are not.
No hand to reach out, and
intervene,
No hand to comfort my shuddering fears,
No hand to caress my overflowing streamed creeks.
No help..no hand
Just me.

Author notes

I wrote this piece during a very dark traumatic,melancholic,painful time in my life.
I had given up all
hope,my spiritual faith was leaving me. Twas just hopless sorrow beyond despair.
Even suicide at the time was a daily thought.

A contest entry

What did you think ? please bear in mind that i'm not a poet though i am willing to learn and appreciate constructive criticism.I also do all this on a mobile phone,and it's difficult. Thanks.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 22 of 22
  • sleepinglion
    June 21
    Edit | Reply
    Tha sadness that you felt here leaps out of this poem.I hope things have improved
    David


    • Raspy
      June 21
      Edit | Reply

      Mmm..

      They say Roma wasn't built,in a day.lol,a girlfriend called me up and reminded me of that since,yes..the winds have changed,and things are not so good,but much betta.i told her,i know i must count my blessings,but im so tired,nd s...w that,im not Rome,lol.
      Thanks again.
      S.

      • sleepinglion
        June 21
        Edit | Reply
        The glory that was Rome, is of another day, now it's just an old ruin, I wouldn't wish that on you. Just hang on in there, all will eventually be well. We have more strength and help available than we know, all we have to do is believe in ourselves, as it says in ''Desiderata'', - ''You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here''.
        david

  • Purrsanthema
    June 20
    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful, true, and powerful. We're here. You have us.

    • Raspy
      June 21
      Edit | Reply

      That was how I felt then. Thanks. Hug. S.

      Thankyou for taking the time to read and comment.
      Your kindness and words, I will add into my pandoras box,lol,thats what I call. Full of cherished treasures,old letters,dried flowers,shells,champagne corks,gift wrapers,reciets from restraunts,bistros and cafes',thats if that box hasn't been stolen too.
      Thank you sweetie.
      Huggies
      S.


  • Rhi
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    no one is completely alone in this dieing world. someone loves you. hell, i love your poem. your not alone, i promise you that.


    • Raspy
      June 1
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      That is very kind and touching.
      I thank you.


  • parenchma
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    When I begin to stray in this direction, I stop and seek out others who I can encourage. I have a friend who is taking care of her bed ridden husband. My sister is in a nursing home after a stroke, and has deficits in her left side. I can find someone to encourage; and take my mind off my own disappointments from unrealized expectations. best to you...

    Now about the poem. You see the response it illicits? I was completely engaged, with compassion on overdrive. This shows its power.

    • Raspy
      June 1
      Edit | Reply

      Count our blessings huh..

      Too true...easier said than done.
      This was the first poem I wrote,well..trying this style. I actualy didnt have to try,was weeping in bed,and my tears wrote it.
      Thank you...

  • a world of sadness - solipsism

  • ah the dark twisting times - i know them well, we just have to ride them out and hope we make it to the other side where light shines - a good poem.


    • Raspy
      June 1
      Edit | Reply

      Yup

      Thats what they say...ebb with the tide don't fight it. Thanks.

  • Well written and worded. Keep up the writings.

  • OH MY THIS IS WONDERFUL, YOUR WORDS EMBRACE EACH OTHER, ITS JUST ENCHANTING AND SOUL SEARING
    THANKYOU

  • Actually it comes deep from the heart so it directly reaches hearts

    Genuine, feelings are poured on this page, pain, despair and a scream for a hand to reach out for you.
    you penned it really well my dear as I related to it and as if you are voicing my feelings exactly, now too is not my best time but there were times I was feeling like you and yes faith sometimes is wavering but when one sees others more desperate and really destitute one starts thanking God and raising hands to pray and complain to him about injustices and he comes in the worst moments and eases them.
    no suicide, but trying to ask him for clemence over and over again and he is there, he created us and knows us and loves us like no other will. the only thing that soothed my pains and still is, is my reaching out for him and asking for his mercy and presence beside me.
    yes we do feel that way many times and over and over again but we fight it by asking him to give us more strength and remember we are all humans and our life on earth will always be a hard mission, so bear that in mind and ask for his help and he will never fail you, and if he seems to fail you at times, it is because he knows best so accept it and thank him and he is there for you dear.
    loved it and it gave me more certainty to be closer and remember him asking for his help Arlena dear.

    you rock

  • count on me hun too. your loved , and not so all alone xo


    • Raspy
      May 21
      Edit | Reply

      Hmm

      Glenn, you just trying to see my G string and the beads round my waist.lol.
      Thankyou.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    May 20

    Edit | Reply

    gosh...

    so very very sad, i felt the dark sorrow in this piece, i'm glad you're in a better place now..and i'm here to help u in your lonely moments, so u do now have someone to talk to ok?

  • A very emotional poem! A feeling shared by more and more people these days. We all feel at our wits end and all we can do is say I won't give up! Life is tp precious to throw away. We have to hang in there and hope things get better and usually they do. You have to have hope. My attitude in life these days is today. Its enough to take care of. Tomorrow is tomorrow. A very thought provoking poem you have penned!


    • Raspy
      May 21
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I will treasure your comments.Thank you. Hope you are well.

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