With my old man
You never knew
What was going to happen next.
He could be laughing one minute
And raging the next.
Eating dinner with him
It was as if there was
A hand grenade on the table
With the pin pulled out.
You wondered
How many seconds you had
Before it blew up.
You were smart
And cute
And a great lay
But you reminded me of Him.
Author notes
Option One: why I don't love someone
A contest entry
- 4 Different Options by DeepDarkDesire.
700 points, ended June 3, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I enjoyed this—I don't think I've ever seen someone compared to a pinless hand grenade, but the simile is wonderful. I love the simplicity here, and yet the emotion floats just under the skin of the words. Great take on the prompt; good luck!
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haha
I'm not sure if I'm supposed to laugh at this one, but I look at this in a very Freudian way and this aspect tickles me.
Your rhythm seems to jerk a little with the two solitary lines;
He could be laughing one minute
And raging the next.
However, I like your take on the option, it's not something I would have expected to read this is very heartfelt in a way, it gives me the impression of mixed feelings toward your Father.
Interesting piece here good luck
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