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Feel the Insanity

My mind snaps
my mind blanks
i wake up surronded by blood
i feel pain
i feel sorrow
i use that agaisnt my victims
i am insulted
my mind blanks away
i blackout
lash out
rip and tear
my enemy is dead
and i do not care
i once again awake amongst the dead

Author notes

My first attempt at a dark poem...

What do you think of my poem?

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • lonelychild
    August 1
    Edit | Reply

    GREAT

    IF THIS WAS YOUR FIRST, I LOOK FORWARD TO READING MORE..


  • The Twisted Rose
    May 22

    Edit | Reply
    interesting o.O dont really know what to say about this one, its says it all and it doesnt, but it atleast has a nice flow :} nice job


  • Borntowriteforever
    May 21

    Edit | Reply
    its good for a first poem. im getting the chills, is it cold in here? (goes to check the thermostast)


  • Mistress Loken
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    third line surrounded....
    sounds likea berserker poem nice


  • Cannot.Be.Forsaken
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    awesome


  • DeathisSweet
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    a good attempt not a tipical dark poem but for a first attempt its very good
    great work flow was better and you might want to use spellcheck cause you will be judged on that
    good job once again

    -Jazz

1 - 6 of 6