Sitting in the bathtub as the hot water from the shower head pours down over me
Wishing I could just drown in it
Mascara tears ink my face, streaming from my dilated eyes
1, 2, or 3 vicodin should be the cause…doesn’t mean I’m numb enough
At least they help more than the cigarettes
Using the shampoo bottle to break apart a disposable razor
It snaps and plastic pieces fly into the tub around me
There it is, that little silver razor blade in the palm of my hand
I run it up and down my leg, debating if I really want to go down this road again
It’s been months since I’ve slipped, but the pain is too much to bare
So I close my eyes and apply pressure to the blade
A familiar feeling rushes over me, a certain release
I slice into my thigh back and forth, the deeper it goes the more I am relieved
Reunited with my weapon of choice as the bottom of the tub is stained red
Still I don’t feel a god damn thing, only regret
Yes I’m already regretting it, another scar… that makes about 30
But hey why do I care anyway
This is my pathetic life and the flawed body I’m trapped in
This is how I survive, by feeding my addiction
its been awhile since ive written
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow, i can really relate to this, and its absolutly amazing, your a great poet
<3
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thank you im glad u think so
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this is good
i've been there done thatt, still am trying to quit, talk to me anytime
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ummm
i don't have an msn, but i do have a yahoo, lover19906. add me and we can talk there -
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okay will do
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thank you, you have msn? we could talk on there
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Using the shampoo bottle to break apart a disposable razor
-i've been there.
I run it up and down my leg, debating if I really want to go down this road again
-yeah; so you've pretty much captured my weekly tradition of uncertainty. it's been almost a year since i've cut but i do think about it a lot.
Still I don’t feel a god damn thing, only regret
-i really like that line; i've missed your poetry. where've you been
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wow congrats on staying off cutting for a year, its really hard...i was on a 5 month streak away from it but caved it....it sucks...thanks so much for the comment and it made me happy that you said u missed me lol someone had to well honesty ive just had some major writers block and needed to take a break to clear my head...hopefully im here to stay now cuz poem have been flowing outta me like crazy lol btw ur a cutie never seen a pic of you until now.
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