Lucy in the Sky

Lucy in the Sky,

Perhaps was having a flash of clairvoyance when I sang "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" to you in a horribly off-key voice. You told me I was cheesy & immediately tried to find a song with my name in it, but seeing as the Beatles didn't have one (not that we could find), I was the winner and thought myself extremely clever. Now whenever I'm missing you, I imagine you up there in th clear blue sky, or at night with the glittering diamond stars, hanging out with John Lennon, who always was your idol.


Our relationship was based off of unique cliches & oxymorons that fit together, working around our own special obsessions. I tried to be the Yoko to your John, knowing that it came more naturally just to be the me to your you. I think you knew that too.


I brought you cellophane flowers and painted you psychedelic dreamscapes where Lucy & Polythene Pam wandered, gazing out over the never-ending strawberry fields. You hung them all in your room, wallpapering it with a fantasy land created from our crazy blend of friendship and love, hope and fear, fun and philosophy.


When you became worried about God, I couldn't comfort you as well as I liked. I was scared too. When you came to me in tears, I took you into your room, told you to look at the world we created together, with off-key notes & oil paints. "Any world that created something as wonderful as you must have a point." I would reassure you, tell you that God was with us when we sang for pure joy or danced in the rain. We were both peaceful after that, each thinking about what I had said for you. Then I started to believe it.


When life wrenched you away from me in a blinding crash of cars and seatbelts, I didn't feel anything. I hid away in your room with John and Yoko & your parents let me, for they were hiding in their grief too. That's where I found you, that's where I found God. You told me that it was your turn to comfort me, told me to look at all the times we had shared together & held me with your mind, in a cocoon of peace. "Anything as wonderful as us had to have a point," you told me. And for the first time, I knew it was true.

Sent with love, from me to you.
Ryan