A Glimpse of who I was, and who I am.

There was a little baby,
Who's life was about to unfurl.
She was born mid afternoon,
taken from her little cuccoon,
She was the youngest of a twin.

While the other twin was complete
the example of every mother's dream
the other was an unexpected tragedy,
A nightmare beyond words,
no mother should ever have to face,
the birth of an imperfect child.

She had 10 little toes
and 10 tiny fingers,
but only one little ear
and one blue eye...
She carried the mark,
which was devastating.

After on going surgeries
and six months in hospital
the little girl, finally arrived home
with her twin, to being her life.

  *        *    *

There was a little toddler.
she was at the age of one,
accepted and loved,
despite her imperfections

Then her parents' world
came crashing down once more,
when one sunny day
the twins sat high
like royal queens,
in their high chairs.

Their mother shattered a plate,
and the older twin burst into tears,
the other, failed to respond,
it was then, they realized,
this little girl was deaf.
Examinations followed,
and it was confirmed.

The little girl returned to hopsital
and underwent the surgeon's knife.
it was a long and cruel year,
but her family accepted it
and tried to live normally.

This little girl was then at the age of two,
When she began to walk and talk,
and understand the world.

People around her
began to understand her,
and many commented
"just thankgod she's not like some disabled"

Then one dark night,
while the twins were in bed,
the older twin gurgled happily,
at the new mobile twinkling overdead,
The youngest girl failed again,
not noticing the colourful shapes.
Suspicion and fear surfaced,
She was rushed to the hospital
and examined, and of course...
Life had dealt its cards again,

This little girl had gone blind,
Again she returned to hospital
to spend months under observation
Then it was comfirmed...
there was no hope of her seeing again.
It was a loss that made her parents weep.

*          *        *

There was a little girl
Who was then at the age of 6,
A young and free school kid,
Who fought and played with her twin
and was accepted and loved by her friends,
Little would people guess of her invisible past
She had proved the Doctors wrong,
and despite the many surgeries undergone
She had survived, and encountered a miracle -
she had regained some of her vision.

*          *        *

There was a young preteen.
She was then at the age of 11.
Life had dealt her its cards again.
having been moved to a new school,
she was forced to deal with the shame,
of being ridiculed and tormented
because of her visible imperfections.

She endured her classmates nasty comments,
and shrunk further into herself, when they spat
or shoved her into the wall at school.
It became a routine - a disastorous cycle.
but she was unable to fight it,
When she herself questioned her own existance,
Her strength and spirit eventually diminished,
She asked God why she was being punished.

Then Life dealt her another card,
Her family fell apart,
her father; labelled a cheater and a liar,
her mother; labelled severly depressed
her brother; labelled uncontrollable and troublesome
her twin; labelled distraught and damaged.
She felt her strength slip away,
two years of it was too much to bear.
She began stealing tablets
slipping them into her pillow case,
Suicide became her hourly obsession.

There was a teenage girl
who was then at the age of fifteen,
she no longer asked God for mercy,
but found sanctuary in an alternative world,
sitting for hours at the piano stool
relishing those moments of freedom
while her family still lay in ruins,
She had isolated herself from the world
she made no effort to have friends,
she had vowed long ago never to trust.

Then again, she went under the surgeon's knife
In attempt to gain a little sense of normality,
a dream that she knew in her heart,
would always be impossible, but still she tried.
She awoke in ICU extremely ill,
She lay there with days and nights going by
No painkillers allowed, she was in agony,
unable to sleep and unable to move,
unable to do anything but stare,
at those white ceilings, walls, floors
and listen to the sounds of illness and despair.

She began to see shapes moving in her vision,
then she saw faces appearing on the ceilings,
on the floors, on the bedcovers...
yet she knew they were her imagination,
and dared not mention their presence to a nurse.

*              *          *
As an older teenager
She was then at the age of 16,
She had dealt her own cards,
accepting the things that cannot be changed
and changing the things she COULD control.
It was then, that she started anew,
she began to trust people again,
being open about herself,
and accepting others,
meant people could accept her.

A year later, at the age of 17
She won a trip to Europe,
an achievement she'll never forget,
she embarked on a journey of distant lands,
Across to England, Italy, and Switzerland...
but it was also a journy about self discovery,
because by throwing herself in the deep end,
she was forcing herself to confront
her biggest and darkest fears.

Then...
Life dealt its card again,
as she boarded her flight back to Australia,
she encountered days of missed flights and delays,
and went blind, again, which could not have been foretold.
by the time she landed in Australia, she was rushed to hospital,
it was comfirmed as a repeated disaster of what happend when she was young,
there was nothing to do but hope she would miraculously recover.

As a young woman
She is now at the age of 18
again, her eyesight is slowly returning,
another miracle in her favour to be thankful for,
she is no longer that former shadow of herself,
she lives life to the fullest despite her issues,
and believes in working hard for success,
she has learned to accept herself for who she is,
and has bettered herself by changing the things she can
Hope and faith now woven deep in her bones.
She shall never give up now.

She, is me.