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Scarlet Artist

Scarlet artists paints a picture
To see if she still feels you
Through these veins this paint beats quick
But the paint will never heal you

Scarlet artist tells no lies
She's okay and you believe her
Planning her next masterpiece
Waiting until you leave her

Artist swears she doesn't care
But I think she cares too much
Maybe she will feel again
With a bit of blood in luck

Little scarlet artist
Will you paint a picture now?
Razor blades and broken hearts
All that practice you know how

This is all your fault, you know
She can't feel you there
Paintbrush in the bathroom
How deep a cut will she dare?

The end of the poem, dear reader.
Subtle and final plot twist
Our little scarlet artists
slides her paintbrush down her wrists

Red paint out across the floor
Embrace her last design
The tick tock clock screams seconds
Till artist is out of time

Scarlet artist paints no more
And now she can not feel you
Silver streaks from long dried tears
In dead eyes that will never see you

Author notes

http://suteishiijein-poetry.deviantart.com/art/scarlet-artist-122719054 also here

I stopped self harming 1 n half years ago... just still write about it

Suteishiijein

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • Sheilasbabygal4life gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    This was abousoulty amazing. I enjoyed reading this. It was good. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.

  • Ilovewriting
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    I loved it. You don't need no criticism. You don't need to revise it. Its perfect the way it is. Your wonderful at writing poetry. Two thumbs on that one. Keep going on your awesome poetry. Loved it totally.


  • Navajo Apsara
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    Wow Wow Wow that is great two beautiful silver trophys. Excellent y7ou earned it and deserved them. Red paint out across the floor Embrace her last design
    The tick tock clock screams seconds Till artist is out of time. This is excellent I love these lines.


  • Oh.My.Juliet
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    LOVE THIS! I love how the reader can interpret it for themselves, I love the imagination you put into this

    Thanks for sharing, keep writing!

    x


  • Unbreakable3
    July 29
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the entery!


  • tearrsofthemoon
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a beautiful sad write....I really enjoyed it, it is terribly sad though...but you have written it so brilliantly. I thank you for sharing this piece with me and for entering it into my contest. I wish you the best of luck with my contest and also the best of luck with life. Thanks again for sharing.


  • Kathraina gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    I love the metaphors you've used here!
    Very harsh subject, yet done beautifully.
    Bravo


    ♥ Kate

  • lilyrosex0
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    woww. i love this so much. im very critical of other peoples writing and this really just hit me hard. very nice job


  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    July 15
    Edit | Reply

    :(

    Great write, very sad. I loved how you showed blood as paint. It had so much emotion.

    Favorite lines: Red paint out across the floor
    Embrace her last design
    The tick tock clock screams seconds
    Till artist is out of time

    and.. Silver streaks from long dried tears
    In dead eyes that will never see you


    Overall score: 9/10

    Thanks for entering.


  • Jade-
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, wow, I love this. Something about it really pulled at the heart strings. I guess it's because I relate. I love the emotion in this. Very well done.

    Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck.


  • DramaQueen469 silver member
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is such a powerful poem and I can really relate... thankyou so much for entering this contest and I wish you the best of luck!

    Maria


  • Nienna Calmcacil
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful...unique. Great job.

    I'm still trying to stop "painting." So I can relate to this little scarlet artist.

    I loved the whole metaphor...every bit of it.

    Excellent.


    • Suteishiijein
      May 27
      Edit | Reply
      thank you ... sorry to hear your still doing it.. huggle... i'm here if you wanna talk


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    Scarlet artists paints a picture
    To see if she still feels you
    Through these veins this paint beats quick
    But the paint will never heal you

    Love the rhyming there...

    Scarlet artist paints no more
    And now she can not feel you
    Silver streaks from long dried tears
    In dead eyes that will never see you

    Wow... taht was powerful, and now I have goosebumps.

    I suggest that you use puntcuation in places... it will help you tidy the pome up..and break it into managable chunks...

    I really like how you kept the rhythm going here.
    And I'm pleased that tyou can find a way to vent through poetry.

    Amazing write


  • Indecisive Speckle
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is very emotional. I know exactly what you are going through I am in the process of trying to stop at the moment and it is very hard! A great piece of writing though. well done


  • Shelby K
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    this is so sad. it made me cry. thanks for entering and good luck.

  • whisperingwinds123
    May 24
    Edit | Reply
    this was an amazing pome, def one of my favorites i have read!


  • angelfalls.silently
    May 21

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    i liked it! it was very intense and moving. the connection was great and just the whole poem i cant describe in words. i guess i can only say that i loved it... ALOT!


  • EmptyFrame
    May 21

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is really well done. You articulate your thoughts very well behind the metaphor of the artist.

    Your formatting makes the poem very easy to read and increases the entertainment value.

    It made me think a LOT and the ending, though stated in a manner which illustrates what is actually happening, could easily open up to other meanings.

    However, neither of the subjects that I mentioned in my contest's prompt are present in the poem (recovery being a part of both of them). But... ecause of the sheer brilliance of this poem, I will leave it in the running.


    • Suteishiijein
      May 21
      Edit | Reply
      hey I know none are mentioned, I'm sorry about that, but I wanted the poem to be seen to show how bad Self-injury can get... I'm sorry for not mentioning either of your criteria, and thank you for keeping it in the contest


  • Xxcant runxX
    May 20
    Edit | Reply

    wow!!!

    i love this poem


  • LifelessStar
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    I love it


  • kales411
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    great write


  • MyHeartUrHands
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good...keep up the writing =D

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