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Pretend Comfort

 

 

pretend comfort
from a soft piece of clothing
your
scent still lingers.
sleeves too long,
and not pulled up (the way you used to),
I wrap them around me,
make believe your arms are inside.

illusions turning to memories
of softly whispered words
or no words at all;
those, the most honest,
still fleeting.


I won’t watch when

you walk away

but
I am keeping your shirt.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Yemassee gold member
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    I always roll my sleeves up.

    I'd like to write the male perspective. He'll want a memento too and for the same reasons. It's a beautiful poem from the heart, but it's a poem about finding, not losing. The last line is the key to that, well, as well as other lines within the poem. Getting really close to 18,000.


    • Snowbear gold member
      October 1
      Edit | Reply
      Aww, this was my first poem, isn't it sweet!

      Well we were talking about shirts at the time, about me wearing one of yours, that's where the idea came from. The male perspective? Well you can have one of my shirts but I think you'd look odd wearing it

      Thank you

  • abu nuwas
    June 20

    Edit | Reply

    Immensely touching

    Being a bloke, even if not a very bloke-ish one, I can't quite follow the thrill of same ghastly hairy-arsed man. But I can feel a bitter/sweeet feeling, and the irrational last line. It's simply beautiful, and beautifully simple.

    • Snowbear gold member
      June 20
      Edit | Reply
      "irrational last line" - thank you! I won't knock "romantic" and "sensual", I'm glad that people see all that because I think it is, but above everything else it is totally irrational, and I'm glad that someone came out and said it. Spot on!


  • ToXiC-AnGeL gold member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I totally know this feeling

    Such an emotional heartfelt write
    I Loved It
    Thanks for Sharing


    • Snowbear gold member
      June 17
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for the visit and the nice comment, I appreciate it!

  • i like this one... and that is just because i do the same thing. only it is a tie. lol. it smells like him, and it has smelled like him for the last month. not too sure if i wanna give it back when he leaves. but you have some good imagery in here. the illusion memories part... the pretend comfort. those are only a few examples. i really liked this poem. good job!


    • Snowbear gold member
      May 25
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your kind comments! I'm glad you liked the poem.

  • start and nice, well written


  • Dixie Dawn gold member
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    You've captured my heart with this piece....it describes how I've felt, for I kept the shirt its romantic yet, real with those feelings that come when all you have left is "that shirt" and the scent it carries. Your style is smooth and romantic and your words are choice. The flow is perfect and the ending my favorite part "I won't watch when you walk away, but, I am keeping your shirt" makes me want to fall in love and cry all at the same time. I hope your write more, for I can see you have a wonderful talent! Excellent Read!!

    • Snowbear gold member
      May 21
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you SO much! Your comment made my day, wow, I'm quite speechless. I'm glad you liked the poem - I've seen the quality of your poetry, so this is high praise indeed. Thanks


  • darell
    May 20

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely

    A lovely piece that oozes with
    sensuality and romance.
    I love the images you invoke
    with your intimate words of love.
    A great write with plenty of heart.


    • Snowbear gold member
      May 20
      Edit | Reply
      Wow. Your comment is better than my poem Thank you very much, I appreciate your kind words!

  • LOVE IT!

    I really like this poem. thank you for sharing

  • Awwww I really love this! Its kinda sweet and sad. This is so good. I have no idea why im the only one to comment because it deserves like a thousand! I really love the last line. I dont know it just made me smile You captured this sensation so well it was just amazing!


    • Snowbear gold member
      May 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much I'm glad you liked it, I was just trying something different (for me). Thanks!

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