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blabbermouth

i once stumbled across a man slaughtering eels

at a barcelona market

 

an image i will never forget

 
 
i watch her tongue
 
 
black, slippery, slimy, sickening
 
repulsively thrashing about
 

i used to think she didn't mean it


but now i've witnessed the slaughter

i will never forget...
 
 
and i feel like
 
skinning her alive
 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 47 of 47

  • charcoal
    September 26

    Edit | Reply
    i think this is a very creative format... there are two things happening simultaneously and it makes you wonder, and so you read on... you tied it perfectly at the end


  • MJ Forgives
    September 5

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I don't know what to really say . I really don't. Your poem is really cool. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering.
    -Jess


  • This Is My Story
    August 11

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    Wow I really like this! There are a lot of emotions in this piece and you portrayed them very very well. Amazing.

  • Judith Chandler
    July 18

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    that's a really well written comparison between the blabbermouth (I presume) and the killing of eels in a market. Your vivid imagery gets your point across.


  • jessicabuzz
    July 18

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    I LOVE IT, it made me laugh and think, then wonder about the hidden meaning. i like the lines...
    black, slippery, slimy, sickening
    repulsively thrashing about.
    for the imagry. Amazing.


  • Aun Ali
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    Wow a handsome use of the four adjectives:

    black, slippery, slimy, sickening.

    I like the style of your writing, thank you for sharing it here.


  • wbiro gold member
    July 18

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    ah, never mind, I see by the title this isn't a literal piece... (sorry, you had me off to a Barcelona fish market...! )

  • wbiro gold member
    July 18
    Edit | Reply
    oh, I drew from this one... yes, the black, slippery, slimy, repulsive things fit right in with my story lol... but I did have a question on this one, what was it about her tongue that made you feel like skinning her alive? (just for future reference, of course... )

    • TheLyricsArePoetry gold member
      July 18

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      hehe.. i dont think you're capable of using gossip and lies to hurt people and win friends. you're safe, for now xx

      • wbiro gold member
        July 18
        Edit | Reply
        no, but I know those who do (and they never fool anyone, do they?)... and your poem IS slowly sinking in... the back and forth between Barcelona/eels/slaughter/slimy and your gossipy friend's thrashing tongue... which you would like the Barcelona butcher to know exists...


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    July 17

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    Superb Plus

    A most intriguing write, indeed. Multiple meanings could possibly be deduced. You expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing.


  • No Quarter
    July 17

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    very powerful and emotional...packed with the emotion. short but as far from sweet as you can get, though it's still a very meaningful write. great job


  • Matt E. Smith
    July 17

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    well, that is some angry words right there lol filled with poison in your vein....remind me never to piss you off or castration may be the result

    and i think i've already commented on this so i suppose i will have to give you pretend clappies.


  • Origami Shapes
    July 17
    Edit | Reply
    and wine and

  • Bob Fox
    July 17

    Edit | Reply

    Poet

    Venom in your words. Caste out that anger. Enjoy the eels of agony. Lol But seems someone is in danger. And I pormise I shall never cross ya gal. Smiling here. Oh at times I wish I were a pretty boy with six pack abs and my picture plastered here on AP. lol

    • TheLyricsArePoetry gold member
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      not so much anger... more like the disbelief that a friend can be so hurtful and vindictive. it's pain i feel here, perhaps a little anger... but more pain than anything else.

      thank you for your comments

      you dont have to promise me anything. a gentleman such as yourself - crossing me wouldn't even enter my mind.

      plaster your picture... who says you need abs!!! xx


  • Night Terrors
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    Just so you know "I" is a proper noun that means you should capitalize it. Think of it as a substitute for your name. You do capitalize your own name right? Now to your poem...

    Erm skinning eels?? Is this an animal rights poem or is that a symbol for something else? Either way very different. Your style was odd. Normally I find poems that use fancy text and added symbols retarded, but this really wasn't too bad. You didn't make it so out there that it was hard to follow your poem. An interesting write to be sure I am glad I got to read it.

    • TheLyricsArePoetry gold member
      July 17
      Edit | Reply
      thank you! i'll take that as a compliment

      i never capitalise anything unless i'm writing for business purposes. i've been pulled up on that before. i dont believe in rules so i guess, in my own stupid ways, i'm rebelling against SOMETHING i dont capitalise my name... maybe i'm rebelling against myself being worthy of a capital "i"... sorry, "I".

      thanks for stopping by and reading. i hope to see you around xx


  • Terry Collett
    July 9
    Edit | Reply

    Very good.

    You have done what a true poet should: paint with words what will not be silent.


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    July 7
    Edit | Reply
    wow...I like this!




  • Dragonbabyx3
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I gotta say... WOW! The emotion you penned here is so truly deep, and astonishing. Once someone gets over the pain, many times it resorts to anger. Being fueled by desire... (I prefer the more.... quiet route.. taking the toilet paper out of the stalls before she goes in, accidently leaving gum in her chair, tripping and spilling hot coffee or tea... oh my how the list could go on) The point is, you made great work of the emotion. Thankyou for entering my contest, and Good Luck!


  • rrw gold member
    June 24

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    great!

    I really like this poem, though I get more of a hurt feeling from it than an angry one. But... sometimes it's hard to tell the difference and they do blend at times...

    This is very nasty, and filled with torture. I particularly like how you have developed the format and your use of font changes... it really gives it an alarming, "out of my mind" vibe. Very emotional piece.


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    June 24

    Edit | Reply
    I like the imagery in this and the anger too. This also has a 'classy' feel to it too. Good writing.

    Dark Wishes
    Wayne Leon


  • shoutaloud
    June 24
    Edit | Reply
    that's a good mystery going on there, like you are using the eel to represent someone else too,


  • Evinde
    June 23
    Edit | Reply
    I can literally feel the anger PULSING out of this poem, the metahpor of this slick and repulsive person in cooporation with the eel really works together and makes the poem complete. The font and word style you used also helped get your point across. I have no suggestions, very strong poem!

  • abu nuwas
    June 9
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    Someone is pissed off!

    Perhaps a course in anger management?


  • Swangrnv gold member
    June 6

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    SEE???????

    You have a fantastic 'poetic voice' so you really need to embrace that fact and fashion your writing to fit you more and more as each day goes on..and soon u won't even be worried about not being a 'poet'


  • Heath Thompson
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    Love reading your poetry - even the way you choose to use different texts! Great ending to this piece too well done!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    Now this is totaly raw:~~black, slippery, slimy, sickening
    repulsively thrashing about~~ I love it.
    I think i know her.!
    Joe


  • IronMaiden1236
    May 30

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    Freaking Funny!!!

    My head cocked right as I read and finished with a giggle!!! The first line is....insidious...I had to read this!!!


  • Noir mariposa...x gold member
    May 27

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    Was coming to comment on this before and totally forgot to come back to the window!
    Oops >.<


    I think this is such a dramatic write...
    New favourite.
    It's so beautifully penned for such a dark theme =]

    Well done
    Claire x


  • The Silent-Artisan
    May 27

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    I do not believe I have ever read a "I hope you die" poem and thought to myself "wow, how beautifully written." You have made your point very clear in this write and you did it with grace and beauty. Once again, amazing.


  • poetic assasin
    May 26

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    this really makes you think at first glace i didnt understand but you anger and passion in these words really get you msg across


  • individuality gold member
    May 26

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    i have a magic knife, it allows you to skin people alive without ever actually skinning them alive, that way your frustration can be appeased and the person never knows they have been skinned alive, here you can borrow it in case you need it for the future. failing that, just accidently trip up and spill coffee over people. a good poem.

    • TheLyricsArePoetry gold member
      May 26
      Edit | Reply
      oh, how wonderful of you! i shall borrow your magic knife and skin the girl alive tomorrow. so long as i can get the muck of it by evening, I shall return it along with cupcakes and lollipops. the coffee idea is tempting tho, i must say. much appreciated, dear friend xx

  • celadia
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    it's so shocking to a society used to get our slaughtered animals in little supermarket packages to actually see one, I think you expressed yourself well here on that point.


  • Daizee silver member
    May 20

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    I know this feeling quite well... I've been at the end of a few slaughters and I'd delight in removing that tongue


  • glenn shannon silver member
    May 20

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    those bitches at work still giving you there sly tongues , well pet the best way to catch and ele is to bag it . you write with such emotion one cant help but feel it thru the screen so at least your using negatives for a positive and thats medicine 4 all. cheers glenn

  • Matt E. Smith
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    this one seems like a personal angst.. a bit of an abstract cathartic write, yet i still enjoyed it as i felt the skinning alive lol. nicely done...

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