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Fishing

I cast out upon
The Water So Clear, Shimmering
Reel back in, happiness.

A contest entry

Did I get my Syllables right?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Kevin Moderators member
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    "water so clear" sounds cliche.

    I cast the rod into shimmering waves
    reeling in emptiness
    casting yet again


  • Beauty Of Silence
    June 2
    Edit | Reply
    simple and sweet. it had a gentle feel to it, nice write!


  • Chromaggia
    May 21

    Edit | Reply

    Serene

    At first glance, it has the feel of a haiku. It's a very peaceful picture you have painted. It is nice to see you writing again.

    Though Haiku it's not
    The message is all too clear.
    Applause I give to you.

1 - 5 of 5