A hypocritical hydration quenches my thirst -
That overwhelming dependency on your sex.
Is it a desire to be handcuffed? Or detained?
Dreamily, I'm captivated by your stardust smell,
Sweet and surreal, as moonlight melts
And trickles to tickle your icy irises.
*
My solemn consciousness of eternal April -
Ravaged by spontaneous spells -
A fusion of controlling showers and Summer.
Your cool crystalised sun suspended
Over Eastern and Western hemispheres
Ever-darkening my way.
Author notes
Picture credit: Showers by *12of8 (deviantart)
My moods have been swinging wildly lately much like April weather and my need to be loved, in many capacities, is overwhelming.
Just for the record, "sex" isn't sex, it refers to gender.
In a list
A contest entry
- Filling the void in your life by Babesface.
400 points, ended June 2, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I kind of think my train of thought is all over the place on this. I guess that's the way my head is right now, but does it work?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Moods like waves as you walk into the ocean, tidal forces that pull this way and that, lifting you off the sand, then pushing you down again. Seasons can be harbingers of our moods, the heat turning cool suddenly . . . the biological cocktail of our brain tied somehow to the UV index. That first little pink of sunburn across my shoulders awakens in me all my summer moods . . . can anything be better?
A superb write that has inspired me to ramble. Well done.
Garrison
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Some wonderful metaphors here a piece full of sensuality dear poet
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Interesting...I like the last set of lines especially...
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I like this piece of yours. It is beautiful. Keep writing. You are gifted.
Dark Wishes
Wayne Leon
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I love it... your mind works in beautiful mysterious ways and your poetry mirrors the changing moods.
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Perfect alliteration, stunning imagery.
"...moonlight melts
And trickles to tickle your icy irises"
My favourite bit.
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I like it, it's very different from other entries so far.
Even in the opening line you get your point across, that you know you shouldn't be doing whatever it is your doing...
I love the alliteration and sibilance.
"Your cool crystalised sun suspended"
Omg my favourite image!
I'm on a 'big-word buzz' at the minute too so good idea with the big words in there.
"captivated", "Ravaged"... Love it!
Thanks for entering and best of luck in the contest : -
Well, I'm no critic, and I'm certainly not an experienced writer, but I thought it was darn good. :] Excellent poem. Good luck in the contest.
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