She spoke of sutures and morphine
and I knew she had to be a nurse.
hands were rough and chaffed
reddened from the hospital water
and multiple sponge baths.
her eyes were the shape of bed pans
and the color was not that impressive.
She had puke-green eyes and chapped lips.
A homely nurse in ragged clothing.
I told her of my elderly relatives
and how she could never touch them.
I allowed her to retort and this is what she told me.
"Kind sir, I do believe that you have me mistaken for someone else. I am not a nurse. Your presumptions about me seem to allow me into your mind and I see from the countless injection sights on your forearm that you are a user...or addict. Whatever it is you people wish to be called these days."
She then stood from the old, wooden park bench and began to walk away.
I smiled something vague and began to laugh.
"Bitch!" I called out to her with a snarl and she stopped, transfixed by my vulgar mouth.
"Those injection sights on my arms are where I inject myself with shimmering gold flakes for I am a leprechaun."
I was soooo high...
In a list
what do you think of this?
Comments
1 - 53 of 53
-
So, I thought I had commented on this before, but apparently I didn't, so here goes.
This poem makes me laugh out loud every time I read it. It's a very contrasting piece, with a wide range of emotions and images brought to the mind. It goes from smiling to snarling in an instant. Then it goes to the wondrous 2nd to last line where everything makes sense by saying something completely nonsensical. Ingenious. The very last line sets me to giggling. All in all, a great write with an offset rhythm that bemuses and amuses. I very much love your work.
Thank you.
-
couldn't figure out what shamrocks had to do with nurses, but then i read all the way threw and it made sense...kinda. I had to read through the piece a few times to grasp the story. This was a delightful piece with a surprise ending. wonderful job as always
-
lol, I absolutely love this. I seriously thought you were going to go on about a nursing home and this nurse, you really took me by surprise. Very funny, wonderful job.
-
-
Thanks!
-
-
Oh liked this! I loved the twist at the end. Well done. It is a fine piece
-
Bastard!
You know, after the first verse I almost thought I'd sneak away unimpressed; I must have overestimated myself. Almost like some half scribbled epiphany or great babbled enlightenment re-visited, I keep having to ask myself just what it is I found so insightful. But it all made perfect sense, I swear it!
It's like opening your eyes to the sub-conscious, and not having a damn clue what you're seeing. And now to the more coherent portion of my review:
"I smiled something vague and began to laugh" -this is one of the finest lines I've read here or anywhere else, this is art. I can't commend you enough on the way you create with your stories, no matter how abstract or perplexing they may seem.
And again I keep looking back to the poem and wondering why I find it so damn mesmerising. Quite worrying, actually. Nice work.
-
-
Hahah! Thanks so much, my friend!
-
-
Such lovely imagery and the ending is a surprise that left a glow in the deepest recesses of my person.The commonplace occurance became an unusual incident an anecdote to guildedin a frame of memory for posterity.Thanks for sharing this unusual idea ou have woven into lovely verse.PLease keep sharing, and take care
-
This is soooo amazing I love it!!
When I first read it I couldnt help but laugh it is sooo funny, but that seems to be all on the surface as when I read it again I found a deeper meaning that was almost sad.. fantastic what you did, the images you created and the way you got into the prespective of an addict !!
thanks for the share
Alice
X
-
-
WHy thank you, Alice! I am very glad that you enjoyed the read.
-
-
Okay, so first reading, I kind of hated this. The language is sort of sterile, it didn't really do anything for me. It seemed overly proper english blahblahblah ....BUT upon a second, and then a third, it started to work. And it makes sense for the nurse lady/not nurse in a very over the top sort of way. But it's funny and it's supposed to be funny so I'll just end this with
congrats. good job. this works.
(I also think the last three lines are by and far the best part of the piece.)
-
-
Hahahah! Sorry that it took you three times to read it. Glad ya liked it though.
-
-
Hahahahahahaha, this is by far the funniest poem i have ever read, and one of the most clever ones. Great Job! Your writing is always so fresh! you have a wonderful talent!
-
Surreail...facinating
Very intrigued...slightly askew but so real it flips you off if you ignore it. I do like this. a lot. Kudos
-
-
Ha. Love that. (It flips you off if you ignore it.)
Thanks!
-
-
Very clever write,you had me hooked from the begining. Loved the twist at the end. Super write!
-
such a engaging piece to read, pulled along in wonder as to where the lines are leading....till the sort of random twisted ending. well done.
-
This was a refreshing break from the more serious poetry I read earlier. Loved the surprise twist of an ending that "injected" humor into something that seemed somber in the beginning. Pun definitely intended. I really enjoyed this one.
-
excellent
I could just see this happening
Love it
Susan~~~
-
Excellent
I rather liked your surprise ending, you wicked little leprechaun, you! (lol) This was very well written. Thanks for sharing it with us. -
Just.... Rawr.
lol.
I remember reading this wen i first started on AP.
I remember i was a shit piss weak mood.
I remeber reading this thinking wtf?
I read it now, and now im thinking wtf was i thinking wen i said i didnt like this!
haha, thanks for the smile and laugh.
-
Oh dear.
Ha ha this is wickedly epic! I loved it. Great use of imagery and metaphors. I was blown away by the randomness and the penetrating blissfulness ! Brava.
-
What?
This is a bit odd Mike! A nurse leprechaun eh? Quite a bedtime story poem for me. This is my last poem for the night. Hope I don't dream of 'lil green men now! Interesting read. I think that lucky charm was a bit naughty.
-
yeah, I like this.
-
-
Thanks, Man!
Awesome! I am glad that you read it!
-
-
lmfao I love how you painted this so blissfully well -- wow awesome and hey dont diss nurses!! they aint all like that hahaha xx awesome write babe xx
-
"her eyes were the shape of bed pans" - what an image, lolol!
you have a very unique style....i so enjoyed this one. great twist there at the end!
~ Nicolette
-
-
Thanks so much! Glad you liked it.
-
-
Dude...your writes i swear to god are the only ones of their kind that ive ever seen. lol
But i would think that was a good thing lol -
-
Hahahah! I get that a lot... Glad ya liked!
-
-
Wow Bro. Love your talent in this write...
-
Er ok its party time in my head ..an excellent look at the confusion and sadness of a junkie on a high it just aint pretty ...eggcellent write poet
-
lol ah the mad life existence, it's a crazy old world, bed pan eyes i like, does that mean you want to piss in them
-
-
Hahahah! (And a bit nasty!) Thanks for your comment!
-
-
Another piece of my husband showing off how awesome he is at writing. You amaze me daily. Your beauty shines in all that you do. Excellent poem.
-
Excellent
What a great write. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.
-
-
It's not in a contest....lol.
-
-
that is quite an interesting poem comical but weird at the same time ... quite... thanks for the share
-
haha wow... for a second at the end I thought there was going to be a good reason for the injections sights but I like that, instead, he thinks he's a leprechaun. great job =)
-
hahahaa
nice write.... im still laughing. thats funny im no good at humorous poetry but u did this well.
-
ummm wow the shock could be read on my face nevertheless great poem
-
-
Tee hee. Thank you for the comment and applause!
-
-
you bring a smile to peoples faces with this imaginative piece. Smiles come to seldom these days. you should write more like this, i would love to read them.
-
-
Tee hee. I will try to write more like this. I thought about making a series...lol.
-
-
well so different from the other poem you hav eposted here. I like ending, it has a great twist.
-
-
Lol. Thanks so much!
-
-
I don't know what to do with you anymore.
-
-
Hahaha! Did you like the piece? Did ya get a giggle?
-
-
lol
-
-
-
Helloooo, Nurse!
Very cool. The ending was almost scary, but I couldn't stop giggling. Nicely done. I love the blatant assumption of "You're a nurse." This poem is clappies worthy. ^.^
-
-
Tee hee!!! Thanks so much! I am glad that you giggled! That's what i wanted from readers. Thanks for the comment and applause!
-
-
Haha, this is amazing! I love the amusing air here.
Very creative little tale!
Bravo
♥ Kate
-
-
Tee hee! Glad you got the comical-ness of this, like I meant for!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 53 of 53
