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Darkened Days

A broken mess splayed on the floor for you to see.
Agony burst through her; the pain is endless.
Intuition whispered in her ear to disappear and stop crying.
Thoughts swirled through her mind's contours; why did she let him in?

What lies and misery done now rose her hopes the sun will return.
She diverted towards the darkness that now illuminates her orbs in the sky.
No returning, no fleeting glances back at the shambles left in the midst.
Fury drove her soul into a downward spiral as she walks every step alone.

These days that tick-tock by she treasures; the normal ones before destruction.
On stones she collapsed but remembered to hold her head up and not give up.
Forever images taunted, haunted, and destroyed the remnants of a terrible heartbreak.
Questions met with no answers like problems with no solutions.

Once pure of heart, mind, and soul, now searching for that hidden perfection.
He recieved every bit of her soul, yet below it lays, ravaged beyond recognition.
False truths recieved, heartless lies repeated back, a hurtful fact of life's gift.
Change never crossing her mind as she still walked down a dangerously lit pathway.

Daytime slowly passes into the twilight, even slower to the dark cloak cover above.
Crashed and burned she believes her world is now, which tugged at her conscience.
Little moments in time dragged on and on like a broken record spinning on its track.
Despite hushed words, loneliness filled her shoes even though she was never alone.

Author notes

This was partially based off of a song called These Are The Days by a band called V Factory . The other part was a not-so-nice nightmare I had one night.

Option 1

Option 2, #1 (liking someone who has a girlfriend)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • dutch2lips gold member
    July 31
    Edit | Reply
    i liked this short story, i did not think it as a poem, you have a flair for short stories, thank you for entering


  • GraveyardGoddess
    July 28
    Edit | Reply

    Mmm, I like.

    It was a very good write.
    I liked it, it was original.
    thanks for entering,
    Good luck
    (L).


  • Cyanide Dreams
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    "These days that tick-tock by she treasures;" Two things, this was amazing, I really liked how you pictured someone holding onto precious time. Something most of us don't do, we take it for granted. Second, I think there should be a comma between "by" and "she".

    This was really good. Filled with fantastic imagery, and emotion to boot. Quite something, for a dark "love" poem if you ask me. Great job and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • rainbows. gold member
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    Once pure of heart, mind, and soul, now searching for that hidden perfection.
    He recieved every bit of her soul, yet below it lays, ravaged beyond recognition.
    False truths recieved, heartless lies repeated back, a hurtful fact of life's gift.
    Change never crossing her mind as she still walked down a dangerously lit pathway.

    This is a very nice poem. Thank-you for entering it into my contest.

  • A-muse-in-writer
    June 20

    Edit | Reply

    Darkly beautiful

    Your style reminds me of someone else on here Laura Lamarca, simply brilliant in the way you conveyed it all. Well written.


  • MysteriousWhisper
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    very nice. i love the way the words flowed out. I liked the fact you that you didn't try hard to have a particular structure. everything just came out exactly how you were thinking. great job and good luck in the contest!


  • poetry is soul
    May 24

    Edit | Reply
    i like your choice for words in this poem... it was really good... its sad too. i have never heard of this song, and i am sorry that you actually dreamt this. its sad. good job!

    • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
      June 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! I'm glad that you enjoyed it; i didn't want to go overboard with the sadness, even though the song has a sad tone to it. this is what came out when i penned my thoughts.


  • xochocoholicxo
    May 19
    Edit | Reply
    that was just amazing it had me totally compelled
    thanx 4 entering bes of luck

    • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
      June 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your wonderful comment! I'm glad that you enjoyed my poem. I'm glad it compelled you; I was hoping that would be the ideal reaction people had once they finished reading it.

1 - 15 of 15