Passage Unknown
Darkness fell across the fields
Dying bodies slowly going to seed
Sunken eyes starved and congealed
The stench of rotten potatoes everywhere
No future for the living seemed in sight
Many having to think of taking flight
A passage to America seems the only way
Abandoning homeland and the famine decay
Not enough money for everyone to go
The youth leaving the old with hearts full of woe
Huddled on the quayside frightened and cold
Awaiting the coffin ships and a future unknown
Slumping and shoving for a place in the Que
Not realising conditions aboard would be cruel
Hands in their pockets with faces drawn and pale
Awaiting their future with a belly full of ale
Another few hours and they will be aboard
The gang plank up and the ship unmarred
Off to a land far away just to survive
A passage to America and a totally new life
Author notes
Just a bit of History that came to mind on seeing the ship with the horizon shinning bright
Written March 13th, 2004
A contest entry
- Contest for new March members ~Come Sail Away~ by Barbara.
300 points, ended April 3, 2004, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I like the historical fact here and coupled with the picture it all comes together. A very interesting take on the picture which I like very much.
Good luck and thank you
~Von~
ps I think the word you are looking for is 'queue'
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"Coffin ships," is a very vivid visual. Gave me the shivers because in so many cases it turned out to be just that. You have done well with giving the details of people leaving a barren land to sail away to hopefully a new life. So many people just didn't make it when they boarded the 'coffin ships.'
Well done. Good luck
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I see it as the Irish leaving the famine and heading for what they think is better lands. A very nicely written poem and great context. Good Luck!
Lakota x -
very very well written...the story you unfolded held my interest and the visions you created quite wonderful...nicely done!!...good luck in the contest!..hugs..leanne xx
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Above the norm on images and special effects. I like the historical context as it bring us so close to our ancestors and how it all began! Thank you for a very good entry! Warmly, CookieZeal
vi -
Thank you for your wonderful comments Babbara. You were spot on what the poem was about ;o) I got carried away while writing it and gave up on rhyming in the interest of getting my thoughts on paper. Que is a different word from Quay ... I meant they were lining up to get on board here thats calles a Que ;o) and in hindsight it does not rhythm with Cruel but would have lost the thread to use a different word. Hopefully I will improve as i write and I thank you for taking the time to comment ;o)
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Nicely done. This is a great poem about historical events that led to a lot of people from Ireland immigrating to North America.(at least I hope I'm reading it right, and it's about the Great Potato Famine)
Good flow to this, and the rhyming seemed to change from the beginning, but I didn't notice until I reread it.
The only trouble I had was the rhyming of Que with cruel, but that's just because here, it's spelled quay, and and pronounced like the letter Q.(or, like it's spelled, quay...depending on where you live).
Thank you for entering this
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