no longer am i special
as once i seemed to be
or is it, that i ever was....
my beauty is not, as was hoped
and a bore i've become
as newness tickles his senses....
would it matter if i disappeared
would there be despair....
or is it pity, guilt and a heart of have to,
thus his despair, would be relief,
in the end....
i believe to be missed, in between, now and again,
relief opens the way for newness,
therefore it is not sad,
and no tears would be shed at the loss of me
only little bursts of thought
which are enough to bandage apathy....
reduced as a topic for the next and the next
the difficulty of my being becomes,
the treasure of newness,
and here i sit with....
a wonder for being so treasured
a wonder for being so missed
a wonder for making true love
a wonder for being that special....
thus it is so, and my curse is as it seems,
acceptance must be, for i am not,
completely or willingly loved,
but loved only as a burden,
which will never cease,
giving myself a fate,
of living my days,
drowned by the iniquities of my soul....
i will never be that special
i will never be that loved
i will never be that one
i will always be the other
ending my ever going.....
pursuit of happiness
In a list
A contest entry
- just realized i didn't lose you; i lost myself. by Shifting.
1200 points, ended July 30, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Excellent...
Deep emotion abounds through the lines of this majestic composition... "Pursuitt of Happiness" takes one to a long trip to reality's realms of a suffering heart.
In respect and admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
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There is such feeling in this writing. I've felt the loneliness, and despair, and desperation. I hate to admit it but I can truly relate to these words. You have penned them well, and conveyed the feeling to the reader very well.
Blessings, and gentle caresses,
Ron
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Thank you so much friend! Yes I wrote this during that time of feeling such a way, those its getting better, I started writing, that helped...I hope your doing well!
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A very good write. Deep and I felt the pain. Perhaps we have something in common like most woman around our age.
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