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forgotten

faceless corners of the old city
stare at me
in the darkness
blinding me

time is close to collapsing

if I turn around
I know things will be different
from what they were just one wink ago
because everything
is slowly crumbling away
into a dark and never ending silence

that makes me go deaf
still, I must cover my ears
to protect them from the song of insanity
screaming at me
from the ground

forgotten
by those who left before me

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Paloszoo gold member
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is an incredibly powerful write. I love it! The line: “from what they were just one wink ago” is brilliant. Thanks so much for entering my contest. It’s an honor read your fine work!

  • This is an amazing work, I love your passionate despair!
    "from what they were just one wink ago" this is so brilliant!
    I like your way of using oxymorons with the silence, although I think there's one oxymoron too many. I'd rather write the line with the silence and then either:
    1) drop the next line and continue with the next ("still...") or
    2) leave the next line and change the "still" line into "still I cover my ears/ from the song of insanity" or sth like that
    just a suggestion
    love it anyways
    Joey
    btw: Where did you get the inspiration?


    • LittleAnn
      July 18
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you
      I'll give your suggestions a thought! Thanks for being constructive!

  • wow cuz this is brilliant ..

    Your writing has always been powerful and had much meaning but since i last read you have got even stronger ...

    keep it up cuz

    ~Judie ~


  • Melodies
    May 19

    Edit | Reply

    EYE POPPING AND BLOODY BRILLIANT!

    One of the best poems I've read in recent times, good Poet. Wonderful metaphors and images, OH MY! You can be really proud of this poem. Much substance here. This poem cries out to the reader in splendid ways.

1 - 7 of 7