Spinning with childish abandon,
she attempts,
desperately,
to be forgotten.
When false glamour fades,
where does happiness lie?
In aching bellies and empty silhouettes?
Hardly.
How quickly innocence can be persuaded!
Magnificence demands
hollow promises;
they kill for bragging rights to beauty.
And yet she spins,
desperate to be forgotten.
Author notes
Picture Credit: http://gi0006.photobucket.com/groups/0006/G5PAK3TBQS/spinning.jpg?t=1242205190
Title is a quote from Heraclitus.
A contest entry
- Prompt Contest by tears.of.silence.
525 points, ended May 27, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Paint Words Into My Head by Velvet Rose Petals.
1000 points, ended June 14, 39 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need To Read by poets whisper.
900 points, ended September 14, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagery!!!!!!!!!!! by XxwhisperonthewindX.
900 points, ended November 16, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1039 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
beautiful it is really good thanks for enteirng and good luck
-Mary- -
congratulations on the previous trophy wins. I'm thinking about false glamor ... and thinking that even real glamor fades in time. We can do a lot to enhance our looks but in time even those things fade. A size 0 died awhile back and they out lawed the size but it didn't change anything. Now a size 1 is last years size 0. I recently tried on some Calvin Cline suits ... I got up to a size 16 Petite and it wouldn't pass my thighs. Normally I wear an 8 Petite ... designers need to be hung.
-
Don't we all want to be forgtton when it comes to such fine fears? Do we not all hope they let us be, let us hide amongst the shade. Who wants to be found first, get it over and done with, child prostitution, rape, murder every slaughtered cow could never be a child. We eat beef and meat and never think...what if this were a child? What about lamb does the ewe care? Do they know what is going on, while they birth children we order their coats...
Everything can be forgotton but what will it take to make Planet Earth forget us?
Super write and thought provoking well done
best of luck,
Gorecki -
Thank oyu for your entery it was very nice! Good luck with writing in the future!
-
Good luck and thanks for entering my contest.
-heva -
Wow. I think it is wonderful that she wants to be different from stereotypes. It is great that she is able to ignore what others want her to be. Great write. I saw her, and her brave actions.
Rose -
Superb
Alright, as I told you, I would be grading your poem. I will give you your positive scores and negative score and then a total of all points together. Now keep in mind you want to have the closest to a 100 to be on the finalist list.
Positives:
+5 for the WOW Factor. Excellent job on this. You had us intrigued all the way through.
+5 for Title. Excellent job on making me go Awesome!
+25 for the Grammar and punctuation. You followed the English guidelines well. Thank you for that.
+25 for spelling. It's really tough making sure you've written something great, it's even more tough with typos ruining the meaning behind your words. So thank you for following up with your spelling.
+25 for word bank and picture prompt being followed. The way you put your words together was a beautiful sentiment to word play.
+10 for staying in the word limit. You used 50 words exactly. Great job!
Your point total is: 5+10+25+25+25+5=95. Congrats you've made the finalist list.
Note from my friend: Absolutely stunning. I really loved how you wrote this and how it flowed. Thank you.
Thanks for entering and best of luck to you,
Kahy
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
