Eye's shine of purest evil
I see them take my
very breath with glee
Begging to pleading
hostile in rage
dreadful unnecessary
controlled involvement
leaves me subdued and
Fucking insane...
I've subtly become
a broken record
screams of loath
unleashed, untamed
mimic and challenge
hysterically laughing
Tainted but no
longer afraid
Rising in a heated freight
to only walk away
Vengeance seeking,
it's seeping now
marking it's very day
I sit and only wait
Author notes
DeadUntilDark
option 3
abuse
A contest entry
- Anyone Is Welcome, but I want your best. by borrowing.moonlight.
1600 points, ended May 30, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Again a very insane and pure darkness!
I love the attitude and the courage to curse in poetry. When used like this it brings great character to the poem.
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Hoodwinked!
Violent. Painful, and effective. Very vivid. Your words are almost torturous.
I'd suggest some punctuating.
I'm sorry for the late hoodwink, life has had me all caught up!
Glad to be here to comment, better late than never!
Shari
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hmm this was interesting but very difficult to understand. some of your lines were grammatically incorrect, which made it further incoherent. eg: line 6 should be "dreadfully unnecessary" line 12 should be "screams of loathing"
otherwise it was alright. nevertheless, thank you so very much for following my rules, and thank you for entering, poet. -
The sentiments have been communicated very nicely indeed!
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wow
brutal and to the point, you write dark so well my love......as aways..........pure class
xxxx
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" Tainted but no
longer afraid"
i love this part the best..
its intense and gets you thinking of evrything dark...
you wrote this brilliantly
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Awesome...
Loving the darkness here, you wield it well...
Strong narrative, great imagery & depth...
Impressive as always...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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I love the cursing, I cannot imagine a dark soul using perfect english without a word of the profane. Hysterically laughing as he proclaims his Rage, Fuck, Fuck, God Damn and then again holy fucking shit this was good.
I like it, I like it so!
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A very deep and dark write, my sista.
Very outspoken, and deep with revenge. One day, oh.. one day. I share your pain and sadness. Nice work.
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Thank you so very much my sista
yes one day...
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Excellent write although I think the cursing could of been done without. ^^ Love the emotion in this piece. You did your usual good job on this. Great poem Darky
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