I am starting to resent this slick, yellow, overpriced olive oil altruism poured on us by government.
It just floats above the clear, healthy water; superfluous, not doing what they said it would.
Certainly not helping anyone!
There is a myriad, a fantastic variety proffered by shelves and shelves and shelves and shelves!
A thousand colours and so many glinting objects that it is difficult to focus on just one.
The bolder the Deceit becomes, the more people push and jostle and shove to say they were the first to believe!
Presentation becomes even better at the expense of the content.
To see this catergorically ignored greys me out a little more everyday.
Soon I'll be nothing more than an imperfectly drawn graphite line on the page of history.
Rub me out.
I don't really care.
I can't care.
Not any more.
Author notes
PROMPT:
Sure, if we change our perspective I'm certain, I would change today. I'm certain, it will change our ways...will things fall into place?'
Inflames - Come Clarity
I REALLY hope this what you are looking for and that it is not too subtle for you... 
A contest entry
- Real, hardcore, in your face...no precious pretending tactics left. by Catacomb.
1275 points, ended May 24, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Presentation becomes even better at the expense of the content.
Wonderful line. I like "Symbolism over substance". No one ever looks at the unintended consequences of civil actions. They want credit for the intentions only... -
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Hi there,
Thank you very much for your words- they are priceless.
Glad you agree, too!
x
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Typography and structure: 9/10
Use of poetic devices: 8/10
Grammar and spelling: 10/10
Connection to prompt: 10/10
THE 'EMO'-NESS of the poem: -0
10/10
Final: 47/50 -
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Hey, I like this method of analysing poetry. ^^
I think this is mostly cos you scored me highly. But still... :blush:
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a good piece of poetry - prose, ah the government, i wat sometimes to line them up on a shelf and throw sharp glinting objects at them
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You did good. I agree with your point of view towards the government. Your imagery was great and your take on the prompt was good. Thank you for entering. I will be judging soon and give a mark out of 50. If you would like to change anything, please do so before the 22nd.
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I am glad I gave you what you wanted with this.
This 'out of 50' idea is an interesting one. I have not come across it before on AP...
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