suicide note

Did you think you would be in my suicide note? Just cuz you have power over me. So fuck you, you think you hurt me enough to matter?! And when I die, I hope whats left of your soul revels in my ashes, and how dare you get high on my remains? There was a chance my tears would fall on you, close enough for you to notice when I was gone. and tomorrow there will be another attack on my sanity, every day the wind snuffs out another candle, I have no faith. Stay…stay when I tell you its not worth it, when I leave you alone and take myself off the edge. You are my curse my blessing love/hate happy sad reason for living and the first line of the chaos of my suicide note. Can you read this? Can you read this? Can you read this? Can you read this? And there is this burden that I carry, I’m sick in the head and only I can hear the voices when I speak. FUCK THIS! it’s not enough when you tell me it’ll be okay and it’s not enough when I’m angry and you tell me you love me. Make it stop I beg with all my heart but even on those days when not everything is falling apart even then you betray me and the clouds cry puddles and I am even more alone. None of this makes sense, baby. Not the words on this page or the lights on the ceiling or the drugs in my system or the names on the list or the signs on the wall or the cracks in the pavement or the ink on my skin or the curve of my path or the curl of my hair or the lines on my face or the scars on my arms or the space in my head or the wrenching in my throat the pleading in my lungs the storm in my gaze the paper in my soul.