Just because you live in a crumbling,
dirty, God-forsaken city
doesn't mean you have to be scum of the earth.
Let's start acting legit people...
this world already sucks enough as it is.
Dishonesty runs
rampant,
anger is the norm.
If he's your boy, then
Why you fighting him?
Why you robbing him?
Let's stop talking shit
and get real
instead of hatin' on people
endlessly.
So much wasted potential---
people dying too early
or wasting their lives
behind bars.
15 to life and proud?
You've got to be kidding me.
"He got what he had coming to him."
Who fucking cares?
There has to be something
better than this.
Author notes
I'm having a hard time with the first stanza and the last stanza. Any thoughts on how you'd word them? Any other things that sound off? Thanks for your help. 
Please let me know what you think, what you'd change, ect. Thanks!
Comments
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That's a hell of a piece of work earthy and gritty and as we used to say in my younger days "down and dirty." I have one suggestion - the fourth line from the end where you write "he got what he had coming to him" you might eliminate the last two words "to him" they're not necessary and do not add to the line. All in all a great read.
Happy trails.
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