You sent a single rose that day,
On a note attached:
'I love you dear, in every way
Please don't make me wait.'
Two days later I received,
A letter in the mail:
'your gorgeous eyes are all I see
They need to be with me.'
With a rose upon my bed,
A scarlet letter sang:
'I know you have a loving friend
Please be with me instead.'
Another hour had passed by,
A letter through the door:
'I need your lips to dance my smile
You don't need ask me why.'
Three whole weeks and nothing came,
Then your note on my floor:
'I have an urge to say a name
And yours my lips became'
Last night some time around half four,
I read the words there with a rose:
'Apart from you I am so sure
There's nothing I want more'
I saw a letter late at night,
As I watched my favourite show:
'I wish to be your shining knight
I'll make it all alright.'
I hear a whisper in the trees,
It’s written in the sky:
'Show your love and be with me
You shall be mine to please.'
The very next day I went to find,
His face to tell my own story:
'Your very first sent rose has died,
Sorry you had to wait so long to hear you are now mine.'
Author notes
h e v a - f e v a
- For People Who Love to RHYME group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Rhyme Prewrite contest :) by Ami.
550 points, ended July 7, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING by Dryad Enya.
630 points, ended August 22, 205 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP FAMILY by Suffer-in-silence.
950 points, ended September 10, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Here it is....PREWRITE EXTRAVAGANZA (audition round) by NoseRingGirl.
814 points, ended September 15, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lovelorn by poster.
360 points, ended October 17, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what did you think?????
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Slightly off tangent in respect of the contest prompt which is lovelorn ... as despite the irony in the last verse
The very next day I went to find,
His face to tell my own story:
'Your very first sent rose has died,
Sorry you had to wait so long to hear you are now mine.'
the poem seems to be addressing love found or presumably shared rather than love lost
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i love it
it was great
<3
-Rose -
I'm very impressed, this kept me hooked until the end, if anything I was expecting him to be a murder or something and that he would jump out rape and kill her if you know hat I mean...you should do one like that!
I loved the write and have placed it in the semi finalist list thingy mabob so good luck and keep writting!
Gorecki
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WOW! this was so awesome!
Such great tale of love! you had amazing imagery in this piece, as well as outstanding rhyming, which was done perfectly! BRAVO! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contes!
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aww this is so cute! talk about a devoted love. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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aww i loved this! it was so sweet! full of such great emotions! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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wow I liked this a lot Thanks so much for entering and good luck -♥Amy♥
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The flow was nice as was the imagery. I loved the lines
You sent a single rose that day,
On a note attached:
'I love you dear, in every way
Please don't make me wait.'
Thank you for your great entry! -
good luck in the contest
the imagery was done nicley,,, and this was conveyed well,,, thanks for sharing,,,good luck in the contest,,, -
Awe, I love this!
=D
Adorable, seriously.
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Oh this is really sweet! I am usually not into such 'mooshy' stuff. I am a cynic, I guess... but I love this!
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the rhyming is off. I think you should have the same rhyme scheme through-out the poem. When you change it every stanza, it doesn't sounds as nice as it could. --This is cute though. Watch your syllable count, can't wait to read the revision.
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Oooooooooooooh this is so sweet, sad the rose died. Thank you for sharing and also thanks for entering.
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this is really good. i like it.
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