How often do friends
sit and smoke peace
on a day of rain
with fingers of grace
and restless
Idle moments driving
the mind to speak
but the mouth
is dumb
and the eyes are
half-closed blossoms
folding in to
Mirror your reflection-
an aura of
tachyons
showing the
Past now gone quiet
moments
when the words
won’t recollect
and necessary
silence
Of the soul,
one cannot speak
for it defies
the language of
life that grows
As the weed
rises and stretches
surpassing the flower
(in its own way)
to draw the
notice of
The gardener who cuts
and dries the weed
and smokes peace
with a friend
on a rainy day...
Author notes
one from a few years back...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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lovely and nothing better to do on a rainy day
lovin this!
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Brilliant
I LOVE It!!! ha haa...I think it's a great piece!! I might go smoke peace with some friends!! I LOVE this piece!!!!
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Most defiately an intersting write. In a way, I wish that the title had been different. Not that it is a bad title, but it would be interesting to see how many "get it" without being told what they are "getting. I mean, I think I would, but I dunno. Could be some dandelion plucking gardner that smokes a peace pipe on the reservation
I like the way you broke the stanzas. Especially the first one. It could stop right there without moving forward and have a nice float to it.
with fingers of grace
and restless
Odd I know, but I especially like the effect of those two lines.
I also liked the feel of full circle from the beginning of the poem to the end. It repeats itself without being repetetive. I think that you have painted some incredibly vivid pictures that coincide with the feel of what you are describing.
Nicely done. IMO
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hey, thank you. I was just on my way to sleep and saw this note pop up.
you've picked one of my more favored ones to read, I'm glad to see lol yeah, about that title... it's a temporary title that I've never gotten around to changing. any suggestions?
I kind of stumbled upon the stanza break thing while I was writing it. I paused and thought, "that would be good just like it is but how do I make it flow to the next thought?" and the offset connectivity hit me then.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I see OGBO has read it, too and I must not have gotten the note.
thanks again and I'm glad you enjoyed. I'll be over to your page tomorrow (all catastrophes aside lol)
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far out man!
I totally agree with this except for one thing...why wait for a rainy day...its always 4:20 somewhere...peace
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lol, with the far out
yeah, 4.20 happens at all hours of the day or night from my own experience... but rarely when you actually want it to!
thanks
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i really like how i can relate to this piece. you describe this so perfectly
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thanks.
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hmm...interesting way to take the topic, nice job
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thanks.
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nicely done
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thank you.
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I swear I commented on this... I recall the headache from the colour combintation
'an aura of
tachyons' .. now that's just plain groovy.
out.
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just noticed an unnecessary semicolon...
if it was from when it was here before that you commented, it wouldn't have had the same colors... unless I somehow remembered them without knowing and replaced it exactly as it was way back then! damn! I'm psychic to myself
thanks for reading
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Well, it was last night I thought I commented
And jeebus, that pink in the online list is glaring.... -
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ah, ok...
is that so? I'm glad you like my color scheme
lol
I actually thought I had a different color for the links... thought I had it all green and/or blueish...
think I'll make the link color brown.
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Love it !
"smokes peace" says it all. did i mention i love it ?
~ w -
Oh wow man that was cool man; so mellow... Hey I'm up with MPP all the way man. Really enjoyed the work, I'd rather have someone smoke and drive than drink and drive.. it's hard to do a lot of damage at 2 mph but them drunks will kill everyone but themselves sometimes. This work just rolls along man, and all connects with just the right innuendoes man.
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