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Our Love

Our love is like a child
Young and immature
Obedient yet mischievous

Learning and understanding.

 

Our love is like a flower

With a stem that grows longer over time

Connected to the petals that blossom

Creating a beautiful existence, by working together.

 

Our love is like a puzzle

With pieces that fit, and some that don't

Taking work to fit together

But in the end working with each other to create a perfect picture.

 

Our love

Is strong and kind

Patient and understanding

Everlasting and important

 

For to each other, we are everything

One cannot be without the other

The two become one

And walk together

Because our love is the key to our existence.

 

A contest entry

How did this poem make you feel?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • This is a very beautiful piece. I truly enjoyed reading it. Sensational, deep and I love the imagery.

    Though wonderful, your poem has nothing fantastical about it, no fantasy, and therefore it does not fit my contest. Your poem has no chance of placing.

    Otherwise keep on writing, coz you're really good at it.

    Nooni

  • Finalists Comment

    Congratulations on making the finalists list. I am planning to close the contest on Thursday, May 21st. This is your graded comment.
    Spelling, Grammar & Organisation: 18/20
    The stanza structure is good, you use good spelling and grammar. I took two points off because I see minimal punctuation to imply pauses.
    Written Expression: 19/20
    Excellent imagery. Great ending. I especially liked line 24, but I think it would be better if you take out the "the"
    Poetic Devices: 10/10
    Great use of repetition.
    Creativity: 18/20
    Excellent
    Wow Factor: 8/10
    Bonus Points: 3
    Total: 96/100

  • A beautiful and positive write. The repetition of "Our love" adds a nice effect. Finalists list.

  • Good concept. You show the positive aspects of love, while acknowledging that it takes work. It's quite uplifting