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The open-gated heart of youth.


 
 
 
 

Oh love – the open-gated heart of youth

 

That youthful birds and fellas always waste –

 

You waste our time with flattery’s half-truth!

 

In truth our better judgment’s trumped and aced

 

And aced again, we bet and lose our shirt.

 

The shirty gambler risks his stack of chips,

 

His chipped smile flashing for a piece of skirt!

 

Just skirt round me – keep kisses from my lips…

 

 

 

Your lips are ocean-deep, they taste of sun

 

And sunshine, mint-leaves in the evening’s hush.

 

Hush now, the river of my years must run

 

And run again in flood and springtide rush.

 

Rush now, give common sense a hefty shove,

 

And shove aside experience – oh love!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Author notes

Wreathed sonnet for Amera.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 34 of 34

  • DesolatELifE
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. I always link the last and first, because a broken wreath is more like tinsel.


  • Desire gold member
    June 3

    Edit | Reply

    Wow~

    This is one Gorgeous piece~ and I would tell others...I would rather endure a root canal then pen a Sonnet~ Love the images also energy You have exuded~ This Inspires me to give it a whirl
    The Love can be felt~ and a Wreathed Sonnet at that
    Oy!!!
    I am learning~ I am learning Oh Wise One
    Congratulations on Your shiny!
    -throws confetti-

    Woot!!
    Appreciate Your comment on my work
    Thank You for sharing Your Heart
    Best wishes in all You do
    with love & light~ Desire~*~


  • malmadre gold member
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    I love every word and line, it starts and ends with "oh love" that in itself will hold this poem in my memory.
    It's a beautiful creation.


  • PerVirtuous
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    You have a way with words. You have written an extremely difficult form and executed it masterfully. On top of that, the content is as lovely as the language. To put them all together like this is pure magic. Thank you for entering.


  • Emerald Dog
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    Mairi - this was such a delight to read - your words simply danced their way into my brain. Best of luck to you.


  • Nickelspring gold member
    May 23
    Edit | Reply
    I love this, such a well done form. Clever and lovely.
    K


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      May 23
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I'm not here a lot these days and not writing much, but this one seemed to write itself.


  • myrataal silver member
    May 19

    Edit | Reply

    Simply stunning ...

    and timeless in its beautiful interlinking lines and metaphors. I loved this so much! Well done!

    Best of luck in this wonderful contest for our beloved friend, Amera.

    Love
    Myra


  • Dalaney gold member
    May 18

    Edit | Reply

    someday...i hope to be handing out your book of poetry to the kids at the workshop and i will say quite proudly, "This poetess is my friend."  Mairi, you are in a league of your own...heavenly.

     

    love, lane

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      May 19
      Edit | Reply
      Well, if no one has published a collection in the next two years, I'll get a vanity book printed for you in 2011. Deal?

  • Purrsanthema
    May 18

    Edit | Reply
    The octet is fun and entertaining and lively. That sestet is magic, from the first phrase to the last: "Your lips are ocean-deep, they taste of sun" I don't believe I have ever read a kiss described so incomparably. "And sunshine, mint-leaves in the evening's hush." This is such a fresh use of nature and its imagery, and such a fresh description of a magical kiss. I love the linkage:
    "evening's hush./ Hush now...."and then that wonderful way you draw out the image " the rivers of my years must run/And run again in flood and springtide rush." And then your next linkage "Rush now.." What a magnificent poem! Amera's sure inspiring the best to write the best! I cannot say any more about it. Right to the final "oh love!" it's so beautiful. Good luck in the contest!


  • Amera gold member
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    I couldn’t feel more special. I am so honored that you dedicated this poem to me. To think that you took the time to compose a beautiful and complex sonnet like this with me in mind is so flattering. I also know that you haven’t written a sonnet in a long time and you know it’s my favorite poetry form. It’s the most wonderful feeling to have what I consider to be the best living poet on Earth as my friend. I may not get famous on my own but I’ll become famous because I’m your very good friend.
    Not Bad Sis.

    Love,
    Amera♥

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      May 17
      Edit | Reply
      ... but it's the second time I have rhymed love and shove in a sonnet - I'm getting stale.

      Thank you, Sis.


  • Darkwell
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    OMG this is amazing i wish i could write this good, it just flowed like chokolate syrup over ice cream, smooth and delicious imagery and emotion. OMG (._.)


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      May 17
      Edit | Reply
      Well I think it must be because I love ice cream and chocolate syrup.

      Thank you.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    Here's not to critique
    but more's the praise.


  • Cannonsfire
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    As only you can do dear friend...perfection C


  • PerVirtuous
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    Straight to the finalists' list. Thanks for your entry.


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      May 17
      Edit | Reply
      It was a pleasure to have a dabble at this, Allan.

      • PerVirtuous
        May 17
        Edit | Reply
        Yes. When ever I think of you I think, "She's a dabbler." And yet... everything you do seems to be a bheag deal. Go figure!

        • Mairi bheag gold member
          May 17

          Edit | Reply
          It's like conjugating an irregular verb, Allan:

          I am a polymath
          you are a dilletante
          he is a dabbler...

          Actually, I like to think of myself as an all-rounder, in the cricketing sense (ask Jeff).

          • PerVirtuous
            May 17
            Edit | Reply
            I don't know if you are a polymorph, I'm pretty sure I'm not a debutante, whether he is a dibbler is something you probably discovered in private, so I wouldn't know. How all-round you have become, that can easily be determined with a picture. But, I suppose it might be safer to just ask Jeff, and forgo the picture. I learn so much from these exchanges!


  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    Awenyddiaeth at gwna 'm Cymraeg asgre byncio.

    A delightful 360 wreath.


    • Mairi bheag gold member
      May 17
      Edit | Reply
      All I got from the above was something to do with poetry and Welsh, but I am glad it delighted you.

  • Bad Bill
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is simply excellent! I've never come across a "wreathed" sonnet before and I very much like the form. More importantly, though, I love the manner in which you mix modern vernacular language with more formal (even classical) poetic diction. A very accomplished piece of poetry.

    Bill

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      May 17
      Edit | Reply
      The wreath is a poetic concept attributed to 17c Welsh poet George Herbert, though he probably got the idea from various traditions in Welsh poetry. See ea's column on the subject http://allpoetry.com/column/2346469

      I first applied the principle to a sonnet in a poem called Autumn leaves http://allpoetry.com/poem/4675328 , but the one above is my first "360 wreath" as the commenter above calls it, where the ending of the last line links back to the beginning of the first.

      I'm glad yu like it.


      • Ceridwens Soul silver member
        May 17
        Edit | Reply
        You called mine a 360 so just following your example as usual Sis

        • ea silver member
          May 18
          Edit | Reply
          There have been several of these written to date, the form lends itself to the 360° effect almost without trying.

1 - 34 of 34