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Morpheus

Venomous these feelings working their way through my veins,
A simple bite within the third eye leaving me so drained,
Unexplainable and unattainable a syrum, for poison is the cure,
But is the sickening quickening? I can't be too sure.

Draw upon this, my own web of critical and abstract thinking,
Staring into oblivion without the burden of ever blinking,
Available and malable, this syrum, sinking into my skin,
But is the sickening quickening? Never sure until the end.

Crawl into my web and stay, my sickened little fly,
Merely a faucet of your own dreams, I'll strive to free your mind,
Unexplainable and unattainable, is there an escape from me?
Morpheus, shaping shadows, haunting your every dream.

Stay a while within my tendrils, I plan to not defy,
Stare into your own feeble mind with dull and dialated eyes,
Available and malable, but a syrum, we can never be to sure,
Morpheus, shaping wallows, the poison makes it worse.

Author notes

A write about my own personal experience with morphine, specifically medical patches - a subject I know all too well. The lure of a simple solution seems to always present more complex and involving problems. Wish I would've understood that then.
CONTEST SPECIFICATIONS:

 

TEENS


3. Alcohol/Drug use.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Lauren Noir
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    I like the subject, not the usual typical drug abuse subject, and the title was very good.
    The rhyme was actually quite good, a little stunted or jarred sometimes, but it made a lovely flow.
    As for the imagary, it was nice, well placed. It didn't seem like a stupid "pity me, it's awful" poem, it was a very good account.
    thank you very much for entering.


    • Leth gold member
      August 2
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks and much appreciated. It was written under the influence, so I guess that sort of explains the stunted or jarred rhyme scheme. Its more or less a warning type of thing. Drugs have a potential to bring out some amazing things mentally, but at the same time, and more often than not, they lead to one's downfall.

      Thankfully, I got out of that shit.


      • Lauren Noir
        August 3
        Edit | Reply
        I'm very glad you did, and don't glamorise it, as something "teens have to go through to define character"


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    June 9
    Edit | Reply
    Jeez terrible colours for font and background. Had to zoom in to hide the glaring white side lines. :S
    I like this, not sure I love it. The repetition is well placed, the vocabulary is ok too. I do like the image of your web, I can relate to that on a couple different levels and topics. Overall, good write. Thank you for the entry.


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    This is a truly amazing write, and I could really relate

    Thankyou so much for sharing this lovely piece

    Maria


  • XneverXgoodXenoughX
    May 18

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. i love the description in this piece. it almost sounds like you were writing while you were under the influence, which makes it all that much more interesting to read. im speachless. finalist.


  • darkscorpia silver member
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    The rhyme scheme is very good, it doesn't sound forced. You keep a nice rhythm through out the poem.

    • Leth gold member
      May 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. Much appreciated. I'm pretty big on keeping my rhythm down since the majority of my stuff is written with the intent of being lyrics. But once again thanks for checking it out.

1 - 9 of 9