The rhythm, the beat,
The love, the hate,
The cold, the heat,
The destiny, the fate
The country
wealthy
with poverty
The time
to change this cycle of crime
The joy
In which the people employ.
The nation
with sickness plus lack of education.
The death, the birth,
and the richness of the wonderful earth.
Pakistan,
Full of culture,
It's people love her.
Did you notice the rythm in the poem?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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your rhythm and rhyme are great, and I must admit you got me pulled in with this one. Great write!
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:)
Thank You...i'm glad you like it.
xxx
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nice...
yes, certainly noticed the rhythm, and the rhyme..this had a wonderful 'beat' to it, really good message also..good write lady!
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I dig the idea and tone, but it could use some work on mechanics. For instance:
"The country
wealthy
with poverty
time
to change
this cycle
of violence
and crime"
Just for the sake of continuity of rythm and presentation.
I liked the rythm you were working on, but it varied so much it was hard to follow, I had to read it three times to get close to what you were intending. I really dig the meaning though.
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welcome to allpoetry
well done, I liked the flow and the rythm was great, a lovely poem about a interesting culture, thanks for sharing this with us here and for joining the site,keep up the writing,
cheers
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Thank You...x
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