Last chick standing up against the wall,
As their counting my faults and I'm falling.
Locked away, would you listen to me now?
Just forget my name and consider it Hell,
A privilege at best if I let you walk back out.
Spotless walls were once the thing,
Now it's just embedded lies and scribbled rhymes.
I think it's become a lie to become a part of you.
I'm quite sure we'll find one another,
In a place much better than this.
Catch me on the shooting stars and make sure
Just make sure you don't let me drift too far,
Before you say
Before you say my opinion matters to you,
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go.
Un-break these cracks in all the seams
And I might just let you,
Might just let you pick up the pieces.
You have a way of making me change,
Making my mind wanna change directions
In mid sentence I hate you
By the time the story line gets through it's pretty clear
Obvious to me, I can't stop loving you.
I hate you knowing I love you going.
So pleasant to watch myself fade away,
Allowing you to sweep me off my feet
Oh so literally.
Don't die on me, it's a written plan
A letter stained green
With all of their envy.
We belong together, in all of this satin
And most of the leather.
Set it in stone and keep it in mind
That I won't ever let you go,
Not on my time..
No not on my time.
You belong to me, and I'll let you take dibs.
Author notes
Don't let me go, this love is too strong to fade away.
Be still my love and the same is I love you.
: ) This love this hate, it's just about the same to me.
I still need you.
A contest entry
- Want your work read and get points for it?? by Momma Goose.
425 points, ended May 20, 2009, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I love the way this flows. It's absolutely beautiful. My favourite part was:
"You have a way of making me change,
Making my mind wanna change directions
In mid sentence I hate you"
I felt those lines really made the poem. -
Nice poem
Spotless walls were once the thing,
Now it's just embedded lies and scribbled rhymes.
Intersting lines
Nice background. -
thank you very much
-
i love this
"In mid sentence I hate you
By the time the story line gets through it's pretty clear
Obvious to me, I can't stop loving you.
I hate you knowing I love you going."
-
very interesting
I was once told that centering poems is for shorter poems/lyrics. It makes them easier to read. On occassion I ignore that advise, as well you may want to as well, but it may help your words to be read more clearly.
I think the emotion was expressed very clearly, and a picture was painted of women lined up against a wall (for some reason) Actually made me think of a friend of mine... lol.
In anyway, I think you should continue to work on it. See if there are some things that you may want to take out... sometimes the more detail you have takes away from the power of the words. I would continue to work on it. :-)
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
