I remember that night too clearly. You and I were in my library, ready to spill out our souls. I was sinking into a seat of faded crimson leather as you reclined back easily into your incessant lies. You smiled, and I was quite convinced that you meant it. So I ripped open my heart with chewed-on nails and exposed every scar that the world had inflicted on me.
Your eyes were as warm as the flames that had my soul burning. I fell in love with your gentle laugh--the sound of summer rain falling from indigo skies. But my mind was a hurricane instead of being relaxed, and I wanted to tell you with words that hurt like barbed wire that I wanted to give you my all. And I never did.
Every new day took away another memory of me. You thought I was special...months ago. Now I'm nothing to you. I've fallen down past six feet, past the bottom of the deepest trench, and your eyes have become cataracts. You can't see how my heart collapses when I hear your footsteps.
Now you hold the hand of another girl, someone who you believe will listen to every word you say--someone who you thought you could never find. And yet, I've been standing here alone in the rain this entire time, falling in love with every syllable you utter, memorizing every movement of your mouth. And I think it's so funny that you're confused about why I refuse to run to your arms anymore.
And to think...you said that you had meant to save me.
Author notes
lyrics prompt.
you're not half the man you think you are,
save your words because you've gone too far.
i've listened to your lies and all your stories;
[you're not half the man you'd like to be.]
-sorry: madonna
A contest entry
- i don't want you tonight; *quickieee ! :] by innocence jaded.xx.
675 points, ended May 25, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITE!!!!! by darkscorpia.
640 points, ended May 19, 131 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel it-Contest for heart wrenching poems by Guerrero.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Whaddya think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Ohh wow I love this. A genuinely wonderful take on the prompts
The title = AMAZING.
"So I ripped open my heart with chewed-on nails and exposed every scar that the world had inflicted on me."
Ahhhh, that imagery was incredible! I got chills as I read it.
"I fell in love with your gentle laugh--the sound of summer rain falling from indigo skies"
I lovelovelove the color indigo; what a beautiful line. =D.
"I've fallen down past six feet, past the bottom of the deepest trench, and your eyes have become cataracts. You can't see how my heart collapses when I hear your footsteps"
Absolutely stunning lines. I could feel the pain of the narrator through every word.
This was lovely
♥
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Thank you for such a lovely comment! I really don't deserve it...
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oh yes you do! you are a very talented and lovely writer!
<3
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great take onthat prompt. great write and i love how it was so capitvating.
Your eyes were as warm as the flames that had my soul burning. I fell in love with your gentle laugh--the sound of summer rain falling from indigo skies.
- easily my favorite part- -
Wow, you are extremely gifted. I love the picture you painted with this one. It's beautifully heart breaking, amazing job.
-- Tor
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ohhh wow i really like this. though, it did exceed the line limit, i'll let it slide lol
it was so captivating. and i just love how you organized everything together. beautiful piece. the revelation to the prompt is outstanding. :]
thank you for entering !
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your lyrics:
you're not half the man you think you are,
save your words because you've gone too far.
i've listened to your lies and all your stories;
[you're not half the man you'd like to be.]
-sorry: madonna
good luckkk!
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