Surrounded by shadows and,
souls that are shrouded
Alone I stand
In this Place that is crowded.
Suffocating and starving
they, are all laughing
as the dark crowd turn away
and ignore.
But trying to burn bright
again, from it's plight
the small flame fades away
as before.
Unregistered thoughts
and untold emotions,
I find crumbling away
into the great oceans
submerged in my mind,
dreams that I find,
and with ideas and memories I'm taken,
so I kindle a fire with all these desires
and my flame has then been awakened.
Now, with my flame burning
I see shadows turning
and for but a moment they stand
and they stare.
The void it seems breached
I have finally reached,
But I am blind
for none actually care.
Away from their world
and into my fold
my light is shining so bright, but
My flame is dark, leaving no mark
it is hidden from everyones's sight.
Author notes
oops... i deleted this one by mistake. duh!
Written March 12th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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oops did I leave this comment? Sometimes I come across my comments and I think 'good grief'...lol...Sorry must have been a bad day !
Kat xxx -
It certainly helps to get your thoughts down, and if that is the only purpose that is fine, but as a read I have to say that this did ramble on a little too much and the ideas and emotions that you have expressed could have been more clear if they had been briefer. You have created some great imagery and the last stanza is excellent, try to get more of the same feeling and flow in the rest of it as you did here
Kat xxx -
very good
i like the way the words draw up pictures in my mind of what is going on as the narrarator moves through the poem, very good. -
ta for the comment
whats an SN???
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I like this poem. I love the style, it tok me a while to figure it out. It's very unique. Great write. Your SN is too cute!
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