The stars in bloom on summer nights revive
A wandering and idle mind, to breathe
In deep and sweeter breaths of air, survive
And keep the night, to live, to laugh, to seethe.
So how is there enough to lay one's self
Upon the floor of straw, of dust to sleep?
Nature so rests upon the hazy shelf
So pure and sweet in veils of dreams we keep.
My thoughts so trace the stars in lines of dots,
Across skyward canvases draw demure
And fairer lines of finer grains of blots,
Lion, a snake, a turtle's form allure.
Inhaling visions leading to Zion
And through the wooded glens, drifting ion.
In a list
Let me know How this makes you feel, what do you think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Lovely poem
The last two lines contrast spiritual Heaven with material Earth. The whole poem shows how they are combined in mankind, I think.
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My limited knowledge of the cosmos may have me misinterpreting the intent here . But the relative message I'm gleening is beautiful.
I visualize someone resting on the earth star gazing and imagining the shapes familar to us earthlings written in the nights sky. And it's written here in poetic voiced verse.
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I really liked it up to the last couplet. The last two lines read very awkwardly to me. The rhyme seems very forced. Everything before this was great and very flowing and I love the thoughts and descriptions.
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I did play with rephrasing the last couplet, does it work any better?
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I enjoyed
reading this; taking me through sight and feel of inner man to outreaches- the universe, while experiencing it as close to heart and thought. Blessing to you. Frans
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Thank you Frans
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