Words run down my cheeks
in the angst filled clichés
of high school note books.
“I’m leaving you,” ricochets
through my mind as disbelief
gives way to grief.
Author notes
Unfinished...
Comments
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Wonderful and Powerful
I've been trying to learn the "economy of words" as AJ calles it. This write is a perfect example. Saying something deep and profound with few words. Metaphors.. imagery .. I love how you paint a picture of tears as words running. I haven't been writing long enough to leave constructive criticism for someone I'm learning from. But I can tell you how you move my heart and soul with your writes.
Jo -
This is powerful and gets its power in large measure through its brevity. This beats the crap out of so much teenage angst. The poem says, "I'm leaving you," and makes no bones about it. That's a heavy thing to drop on somebody's lap, that's for sure. And they may not have Mom and Dad to pick them up this time. And that could lead to a lot of horror, which makes it all the more effective. Very good job!!
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time to face some things we'd rather not... endings and beginnings connect the chapters of our lives... very well done, some good depth in these short verses...PK
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