I stare quietly into the glassy pond.
My reflection is not one of beauty.
I imagine great wings of fire
Perched carefully upon my back
Flames dripping away at the ground beneath
Eating away at the fragile earth.
With a pumping of my wings I hover over,
That delicate surface of water,
watching carefully as the ripple begin to form.
Steam rises and envelopes my ample body.
Within mere seconds of watching the movement,
The water has all but dissipated, leaving only
a steaming mass of dry earth!
It has become cracked and brittle.
Oh, The power of Fire!
With wings of fire I would be massively destructive.
Perhaps its best that I continue to stare,
quietly into that glassy pond, only to allow my
Imagination to run wild.
Author notes
A Freewrite that Inspired Me. Perhaps You shall try one as well.
Have you ever stared long enough at yourself that you can imagine....
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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not that bad
It is a little cold, it's hard to make a connection with the emotion of the poem...the transitions going into and out of the hovering over the water part needs work to make it more fluid and make the flow of the poem easier. -
Your poem is a starting point, a point of declaration and self discovery. Focus on your development...
There is only one true place of fire; it is your heart flame. Center the poem around the origin of the flame. It is the flame of creation and yes destruction too.Imagine you are a phoenix.The power may be yours, but so is the cost. Spend it wisely.For what you design ultimately returns to you multiplied x 10.
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good imagery. great meaning/realization that things imagined can be self-gratifying but aren't always good for others to receive the consequences
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I like it hon. Love the imagination and the emotion it portrays.
Hugs love ya -
That was beautiful and creative... I could see it in my minds eye. There are a few things you could do structurally to make it flow more smoothly, but the way this manifests in the mind is downright excellent.
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You have a very vivid imagination.... I like the honesty of your write, as well as your imagery. Although I think it's still a bit rough (needs a grammatical edit here and there, and some lines could do with polishing, especially toward the end), it has a ton of potential. Maybe I will have to try a freewrite soon; I think you've inspired me....
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Heart felt & touching, you captivate the reader and draw them in
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