One Last Trip
"Dreams don't come true, do they, Ryder, my dear?"
"Emma, my love, this ship is sound never fear.
I take this journey one last time,
When I return, we will have a life so divine."
A house we will make, a castle just us two
With laugher and joy, children not just a few
"Don't despair, Emma, don't fret my pet.
Your father will bless us, with not one regret.
Standing on the dock I watched that ship
Sailing away for one last trip
Taking my man, my lover, my friend
somehow I knew, never to see again.
Turning away, swallowing my tears
Trying to smile away this foreboding fear.
Author notes
This is a prequel to my poem "Ship Called Freedom"
Written March 12th, 2004
A contest entry
- Contest for new March members ~Come Sail Away~ by Barbara.
300 points, ended April 3, 2004, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Very sad and very descriptive. It portrayed the hopelessness of Emma very well.
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This is really filled with emotion. as cookiezeal said 'it is nicley done and full of imagery'. I can see this scene in my mind when I read it. I can see the tears rolling down her cheeks when his back is turned. Very good. Very, Very good!
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Love It.
Thanks for the comment.
Wow...I agree with CookieZeal in that it is "narrative and prose-prone" This is so full of emotion. Definitely makes me want to read "Ship Called Freedom." -
The grace,
with which she does embrace,
the pain is evident from the radiant face,
did you write it or paint it for I see the images dance vivid in fron of my eys,awesome simplicity! -
So very NARRATIVE and prose-prone!! Nicely done and full of wonderful imagery. Thank you! CookieZeal
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All ready for a part 3 I think!
Sad but realistic - so many men would have gone off to sea never to be seen again and their families left at home wondering.
A wonderful entry for the contest - thank you
~Von~ -
Sad indeed. I am left wondering what happened to Emma and Ryder.
Thanks for entering our contest. Good luck!
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awww this is sad with so much emotion very well written.
Good Luck
Lakota x -
wonderful!!...i sooo enjoyed this...it was original and refreshing...a great take on the picture provided....really really well written!...good luck in the contest!..hugs..leanne xx
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This is such a moving write Sally. The visuals on it are so clear. I could feel myself well up with emotion as I watch you on the dock with such sadness in your eyes. Very real, very sweet. If this wasn't about you I could never have guessed. Love, Trish
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Melancholy...I am not sure that is the word to use here. Maybe... despondent. Yes, the lack of hope that emanates from this poem, and just that slight bit of resolve to keep this couple going, is what forms the backbone of this poem. I like it, because it reflects much of what I feel about everything. This piece also reminded me of a romance novel I once read with a twisted version of the same story this couple faces. (nods) This is a wonderful piece. Take care.
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora
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oooh, very sad...very melancholy. I could see the image of him drifting off into the sea...and the teardrops that fall once he is out of sight. Well done. Good luck in the contest!
UB
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Yep, leave em hanging...
Keep penning...
Eddy
Edited on Mar 22, 3:26 p.m. because ''. -
Excellent
Excellent piece. It is sad and haunting, in some ways. But I really loved the old world feel to this poem. Reminded me of the old masters of poetry and how their poems flowed so easily. They often wrote of lost love...much like you did in this poem. Anyway, this is very creative writing. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on, "The Lost Lady." **Ivy Rose -
Sad thoughts, never see the love of your life again. Dreams that never will happen.
As the reader feel the sadness of the poem, then the poet is succeeded, this is your case here.
So very nicely written!
Mari
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I too, liked how they talked of the future,
just knowing deep in their hearts, that it may
not happen. Sad little write, and yet, so full of love.
This was beautifully penned.
I wish you the best in the contest!!
Keep writing
~Aimee
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excellent
Where was the man going.......???? lol.. well a sill question
I really LOVED this poem.. so far your best 
sissy you need to get some position on this one yar! 
Love you miles,
Lonely~ 
xx -
Excellent
WOW! This reminded me of the 1800's or something like that, A woman standing on the pier watching her man sail away. There was so many shipwrecks in that time. You did a great job on this. I love it. Queen
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I was really touched by this poem. I will never be able to write as beautifully as you do. I admire your work!! Very unique style of writing, and a powerful blend of dialogue and emotion!! Simply stunning!! Great poem!!
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I like how you mentioned all the plans they had for the future, only to see that they won't come to be. The fret/pet/bet may be placed a little too close, you might just want to say don't worry my pet. Your Father will bless us, with not one regret.
Anyway, it's really nice and it has a fairy tale quality to it.
Keep up the good work.
John -
sniff......
This is so sad, and yet a beautifully haunting prequel to your contest entry.
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