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& I never thought I'd hear the word "forever"

Dear John,

"I never want to let you go."

Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still feel you breathing in my bone-marrow and knotting my capillaries into some semblance of perfection. I have always been filled with dust and ash, internal organs packed in dry ice until someone came who cared enough to melt the fog away and send my blood flowing into my veins, but I always pretended that I didn't need anyone. Before you, no one ever looked at me as someone to be protected, but you brushed away the cobwebs I had woven over my eyes and showed me just how much better I could be if I could just bite my cheek and trust that you would catch me. You put sapphires in my eyes and amethyst on my lips, gemstones melting on my tongue and filling me with words I can almost comprehend.

"You changed me."

Slowly, you extended your world to include me. For too long, I was a lone comet half-frozen in the dark, eternally trailing my tales where no one would see them or care, flipping between supernovae, orbiting them until they winked out one by one. When you caught me, you pulled me closer than anyone's bothered to do before; you scorched away the frozen dust that suffocated me every day and you taught me that I was a star, too, and that people didn't have to stand still while their admirers orbited endlessly, and that was when I learned why binary systems are the most beautiful.

"I love you."

I've been breathing in ambiguity for so long that I'm not sure what colour the sun is any more. You taught me how to exhale and as the last glints of yesteryear's garnets faded from my parted lips you took my oesophagus in your hands and you told me that I could explode even if my eyes couldn't decide to be golden & that empty finger-bones and awkward shoulderblades can be beautiful, too. I feel that our palms are linked by more than happenstance & that a few more years isn't long enough to wait to feel your words inhale themselves into my throat in that eternal half-moment before your mouth meets mine, but I can't really help that, can I?

I can stand on my own now, but that doesn't mean I'll start running without you.

                                                                              With love,
                                                                                    -Emma

Author notes

"purple pizza painted a poisonous pickle."

dipit

You know when you start with a phrase and it grows into a poem and you think "Ooh, that's cool" and then it just gets bigger and bigger and more generally all-consuming until it won't leave you alone until you write it down, and suddenly it's not the poem you thought it would be but in a way it's so much cooler?

That's what happened with this.

Prompt: "with you, I had amethyst breaths and firefly-dust filling my bones." -blackberry, "imaginary."

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • Tabetha
    September 15

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    Amazing.

    This is truly astonishing.
    This nearly took my breath away, such a delicate poem. (:
    Beautiful.

  • clockface
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    I thought I'd commented this before, but I guess I was mistaken.

    I still can't believe that this was inspired by one of my poems.
    This is really, really good.

    My favorite bit would definitely have to be the first full paragraph.
    All the imagery in it is so vivid & gorgeous.


    • AllThatRemains
      August 15
      Edit | Reply
      Well, apparently not.
      Of course it's good— it was inspired by yourself. ^.^ -hugs-


  • HopelessDreams
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    Love , love, loved the ending. Great job at developing your point and summing it up in one breathtaking sentence! and and and...you're situation sounds the same as mine by the lines "a few more years isn't long enough to wait..."

    kind of got me curious now...


  • Diminished Capacity gold member
    June 26

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, your writing is absolutely stunning.

    My favorite lines...

    Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still feel you breathing in my bone-marrow and knotting my capillaries into some semblance of perfection

    You put sapphires in my eyes and amethyst on my lips, gemstones melting on my tongue and filling me with words I can almost comprehend.

    You did a wonderful job here. Thank you so much for your entry.


  • samantha jean
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    'Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still feel you breathing in my bone-marrow and knotting my capillaries into some semblance of perfection.' - Holy crap. This is such an amazing beginning. I don't even know what to say.


    "You changed me." - I got chills.

    'I can stand on my own now, but that doesn't mean I'll start running without you.' - I love this ending.

    Brilliant write. Thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck.


  • Englandgirl2008
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    This was a great write.
    I know the feeling when you have an idea or phrase you start to use and write a poem but then you feel as if it's not done. Then when it is you put more then you wanted. It was well penned thou.
    thanks for entering and good luck


  • darkscorpia silver member
    May 17
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful.

  • LoveToLaugh07
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    This is very well written. You have an amazing vocabulary. It's always nice when someone actually cares enough to help you out and to let you into their lives. Very beautiful. Thanks for the entry and good luck.

1 - 14 of 14