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Baby Monitor.

baby monitor's
irritating drone--
all is well







Andrew Hide
12~03~2004

Author notes


Written March 12th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • AndrewHide silver member
    June 30, 2004
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    Thank you,
    I beleve reading Japanese & Chinese poets helps, in Chinese poetry the intention is to create a mood in the reader by discribing an image. It helps me a lot.
    I've written many bad haiku, I even have some haiku which each have over twenty versions and I still can't get them right. I appreaciate you reading

    Andrew


  • duana
    June 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    What a coincidence...just got your comment after I posted this one, heehee.

  • duana
    June 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I am going through, and trying to read your nontraditional haikus, since that is where we are starting in class Hope you don't mind I still don't have a true grasp of either kind, but i am trying. I have read it takes writing a hundred before you write on good one. That is obviously not true in your case as you write the most gorgeous traditional ones...wow it is like you are right there in the scene, not an outside observer...it's amazing....or it's like the reader is seeing the scene himself as you first did when you just observed it- which is what i guess haiku is all about! Anyway...back to this one(sorry for the tangemt, hehe)...this is a very interesting haiku...I think you capture a moment that every parent can relate to, groaning and feeling relief all at the same time. I love it!


  • Ava Noire silver member
    April 4, 2004
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    You know I can certainly relate to this one. Knowing your child is safe is a great feeling.

    beautiful


  • macandrew
    March 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    Years back when my earlier daughters were born we didn't have the monitor so ended up with her basket in our room. After 3 nights of no sleep listening to the weirdest breathing patterns in the world she ended up back in her room.

    17 years later I take joy at the humming from the monitor as Miranda sleeps.

    thanks
    John


  • Lakota
    March 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    L

    Lol well that's good it's the total silence that is the worry


  • BillS2
    March 12, 2004
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    Peaceful

    Hi Andrew:
    Just need a soft GONG sound between drone and all to make the sound complete as well. Hearing that steady breathing is music to your ears. Thanks. That is a nice write. Bill

  • freeze43
    March 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Its a nice write, ironic and nice. Its good that you have diverged from the normal haiku format, which i should do more often!


  • SusanL
    March 12, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Isn't that one of the sweetest sounds...broken by the occasional gentle stirring... I think they are one of the greatest inventions... My parents also use one when ever my grandmother is visiting... she just has to yell in to it and they know she needs help. She is almost 90 and still flys across the country once a year to visit her daughters. She has heart problems, but since she has outlived her cardiologist she isn't overly worried.... Nice little write...Susan

1 - 9 of 9