Time ticks as I wait
The hour ends before my take
Sitting, thinking, waiting;
My mind escaping.
The day grows old as night passes
Babies crying, dogs howling
Anticipating
Watching, starring, seeing -- Nothing.
Silence begins the day as morning comes without notice
Tears begin to fall, slowly
The day moves to it's peak
without a whisper or retreat
Time moving, but still empty
stomach aching, curling
Still waiting.
Author notes
“a million hours left to think of you and think of that.”
The Con – Tegan & Sara
A contest entry
- enter a prewrite for comments! by etoile.
1800 points, ended June 10, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES!!! BRING 'EM ON IN!!! by XxLoverOfDarknessxX.
550 points, ended June 27, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Waiting by just sam.
650 points, ended June 24, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Peer Pressure the Third! You Decide the Winner! PW by Zenda-Lokki.
1400 points, ended July 2, 70 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITE... maybe rounds I'll see what i get!!! by Unbreakable3.
900 points, ended July 30, 223 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - only this moment holds us together by The-Phoenix.
2300 points, ended August 20, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Teach me Abstract poetry by rinzurajan.
400 points, ended November 15, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Constructive criticism please and thank you
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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nice usage of metaphors and imagery... keeps the reader hooked an prompts him/her to read again...a true abstract piece...
favourite lines
The day moves to it's peak
without a whisper or retreat
Time moving, but still empty
stomach aching, curling
Still waiting.
i felt the same many times...a twitch,an ache,a pain...and the wait is very long...teh day never seems to end...
good luck
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no.
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no
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I entered the same contest that you did and i think your poem for the prompt was pretty good! Thank you for the entery
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i really liked this poem.
it was amazing! such fantasic imagery and metaphors. 
keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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'Time moving, but still empty
tomach aching, curling
Still waiting.'
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I believe tomach should be stomach.
apart from that tiny spelling error I really liked the message behind this piece. the metaphor is great. great imagery as well.
goodluck and thanks for entering
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