i knew it was a never ever kind of thing
when you let me sleep on the floor of your living room
with some thin blanket and a couch pillow.
you walked upstairs and my heart crunched
like a potato chip left on the ground
stepped on by a shoe.
i crawled onto your couch
with your half naked friend.
it occured to me that my life was a huge joke
when i lost my job through going to college
and my education was making me less appealing
than the high school drop-outs.
so i cried in my car when even my sympathy networking
failed me at first, only leading to greater results.
you're the type of person
who would tell me you love me
in some tequila trance
and then the next morning throw out my toothbrush
and have another girl over
while i'm out celebrating my birthday.
you are dirt
not even rocks
because if you were as small
as you make me feel
you'd be crystals blowing in the wind.
once the sand you are landed on my floor
i would sweep you right out the door.
i am a mess
i am an ashtray of life
speared and worthless while stumbling
trying to find myself
a way to feel whole.
i write meaningless
uncleaver
impractical phrases and think them to be
something of substance
something worth reading.
my life would not exist
without you.
Author notes
i'll delete this tomorrow when i'm not high and cynical.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i love this. it almost perfectly describes 2nd semester last year for me.
i havent even begun trying to write about it, but you describe it so well. i miss when everyone was writing everyday....
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sometimes i think we share some kind of mind connection, haha. you always write things that i think.
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it's a definite relief that i'm not the only one; it makes me feel less crazy haha
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dude, i'm in the same boat with the education/finding a job thing. it sucks. i feel you.
i like this. it's honest.
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