A daughter of the dawn I find
Insipid light to chill my mind
In questions of a life, or die,
Find solace in the stranger's eye
Half silence, half bathed in the glow
Half-wilted, watch my passion grow
Doth burst and writhe and seep within,
For death is ripe, and dark, and sin
Glow brighter, ever brighter still
Lay petals just beyond the sil
And sprinkle dew upon my brow,
And pray, Lord, never wonder how
Ne'er wonder what did taint the gleam
On nature's greening, soft harem.
Where in my throat the nugget caught,
Now dost a harlots' prey consort.
And still the light shall filter past
And still your blame is sore miscast.
Silence the birds in harsh lament
A mind choked cold, a body bent.
A panic at the growing day
That naught but guilt shall chase away,
A waking world must I befriend,
So I begin when ne'er did end.
A calmness, that is all but gone,
Once shattered beams have steady shone,
With naked foot on trampled grass,
The waking shadows doth I pass
The sickly moon may yet still mourn
Day-break is when this ail is born.
And now has this demise begun,
By 'morrow shall I be undone.
a waiting game
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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nice flow to this like rhyme
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I like this one...subtle, pretty, and understanding. Good job!!!
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a wonderfull piece
i liked this alot ,its very soft with powerfull undertones , this would be at home in any old world book of folk law ..did i say i liked it.. i loved it.
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Simply marvellous
All praise for you. In between the lines there is mystic message which transports me beyond the literal meaning of words -
I am truly in love with you beautiful poem!It has exactly the style i like to read,you write with such lyricism. And your vocabulary is the kind that charms me and creates images in my mind.Your imagery is breathtaking.My mind travels through the verses of this poem,in other places,other times,other words,
I appreciated how you somehow married light and darkness.Sometimes using soft,beautiful words other times harsh and morbid ones. I did not understand the point completely, but i received images and my soul wandered. Your rhyme is not consistent throughout the poem but you don't really pay attention to it after a while.
Favourite phrases and parts:
"For death is ripe, and dark, and sin"
"And sprinkle dew upon my brow"
"Now dost a harlots' prey consort."
"And still your blame is sore miscast."
"The sickly moon may yet still mourn"
"With naked foot on trampled grass"-the image of naked foot on grass was always a favourite image.
Amazing work!I look forward to reading more from you!
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thankyou for your kind words - althought, i'm having trouble working out where the rhyme isnt consistant. as far as i can see it is AABB throughtout.
thankyou for reading, glad you enjoyed it. -
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Maybe mine was an overstatement,reading it again,it flows brilliantly.There was just one or two parts but didn't flow as brilliantly to me as the others.My example is:
"Ne'er wonder what did taint the gleam
On nature's greening, soft harem." But maybe you pronounce harem differently than me?My first language is greek anyway
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Harem is pronounded like 'hareem', with a long e, so the same vowel sound as the 'ea' in 'gleam'
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awesome
wow! this is deep-powerful-loaded-leaving me awed-this piece has awesome talent-you managed to keep the momentum with such smoothness till the very end-The title is eye catching and yes, it spells poetry-'Daughter of the Dawn'-intiguing-I simply had to click on it-and it sure did not dissapoint me there is a total command over your words-expressions -langauge-a total reading pleasure
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thankyou, so much, you are too kind
Pink -x-
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