I stand upon the rocky shore
I watch the tall ship sail
The light dances on the water
And I wish to be free
Waves crash at my feet
But just as quickly leave
On the horizon I watch the dolphins play
And I see how they are free
I close my eyes and pretend I'm there
On the bow of that sailing ship
The wind in my hair and the world at my feet
And in that moment I am free
I'm standing in the water
On the shore of this lonely beach
As the light fades and the ship sails
I whispered "take me with you, please just set me free".
Author notes
Written March 11th, 2004
A contest entry
- Contest for new March members ~Come Sail Away~ by Barbara.
300 points, ended April 3, 2004, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Wow thankyou so much for your kind words!! I really don't think i'm that good but as i said before I try to be honest in my poetry. And i do understand what you mean about not being free. I feel so trapped all of the time. By school, my family, my life everything. I can realte. *hugs*
Meg. -
Excellent
I think you're one of the best poets i have read. The images and feelings are potrayed very well in this poem. I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I feel like even though everyone says it's not true, that I'm not really free and I always feel trapped. thanx for your poem! -
Thankyou very much Hayley!
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Being a piscean I can totally realte to the feelings of freedom and being at peace with the ocean, that this piece so clearly conjures up - great work
Good luck in the contest!
Hayley x x
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Thankyou very much gemini!!
Edited on Mar 30, 7:36 p.m. because ''. -
I can easily identify with your feeling about the sea. I feel like a different person when near the water and have often gazed toward the horizon - just wishing- It's a beautiful poem and a great entry for our contest - thank you
~Von~ -
Thankyou very much Tina!
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It seems that the ocean is the epitome of freedom and can intensify our feelings of longing to be free. You've done well at conveying that emotion. Thanks for entering our monthly new members challenge. Good luck!
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Thankyou very much!
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I was at the beach all day today and was actually watching the coal tankers there was 14 of them I to was wondering what it would be like out there on the ships good entry and good luck!!
Lakota x -
Thankyou!
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very beautifully written...a nice entry and an enjoyable read...well done!!..good luck in the contest!..hugs..leanne xx
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skreaminsosound, i think you could be right actually. about the the first two stanza's. i'll think about how i can change the second one. thanks for the advice.
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Thanks Damian.Glad you liked it. i love standing on the cliffs and watching the waves.
Edited on Mar 14, 7:18 p.m. because ''. -
I really like this piece, its beautiful. I didn't really know about repeating the end line in the first two stanzas, I might change the second one a bit, but I think this poem works well anyway. Great write...I love the continuing theme.
A/E/S -
I can relate to this.. I used to spend hours standing on the cliffe edge at my university town looking out to sea and wishing I could just float off over the ocean like a bird.
Thanks for sharing.
Damian. -
Thankyou Barbara! I'm glad you like it.
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Awwww! This is a sweet whimsical poem. I like the feeling to this and the longing to be free and on the open seas. When I lived on Vancouver Island, I would often see the cruise ships sailing past in the distance, and wonder what it would be like to be on them(sort of different, but same longing)
Thank you for entering this
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Thanks CookieZeal! You too Mandi! blushes you're too nice girl!! Thankyou!
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Awesome job! I can totally picture standing on that ship wishing to be free. Good luck! Not like you need it though.
~Mandi~ -
Lovely, whimsy!
A good poem for the criteria, and form is well for the most part!
Thank you for entering, and welcome to a special place! AllPoetry. Warmly, CookieZeal
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