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A Misunderstanding

Further into the darkness let them explore
Let them employ their deeds no more

  I insist!

And in resistant times of life that has past us by
In just a matter of time- one day
We must all realize how to leave it and fly
For we must certainly die

Forever is the beauty we will behold
Forever is and shall always be untold

Those who look upon these words
with meaningless misfortune
Shall never learn the truth of it's solemn token
Generally unspoken to one and all

So I say it again- but not out of spite or fright
But some day we must FALL!








A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Tqop
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    I think you did a great job on this poem. It's filled with meaning, and I love how you shared your ideas with us:

    But some day we must FALL!

    It's something to think about!


  • Dryad Enya
    August 18

    Edit | Reply

    We all fall, one day we will fall harder than before and we will not get up again but it is the things we do before we fall that count.

     

    'It's all guns and badges our there, if one of us falls there's someone else to take your place. ' ~ Numbers

     

    We can only hope by the actions we make in life that we will be remembered, that when we fall we shall be replaced by someone but that that someone will never be able to be the same as us. It is hard isn't it? To know we will one day never get back up. I say that 'every time we fall we learn, if a man is to never fall then he will never get up. ' Very expressive poem, well done indeed and best of luck in the contest!

     

    Gorecki 

     


  • K-a-r-s
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is very short and sweet. i like that you go to the point without using a lot of words. Nice job. But you need to put your name in the authors notes. Good Luck in the contest!


  • poisonivystar4
    July 27
    Edit | Reply
    It's cool, and I like it, but you still have to list somewhere on this page, what prompt your using. It's in my rules on the page.


  • januaryrain gold member
    July 15
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting poem, it speaks volumes, I like your style.
    Thank you for your entry.


  • Miss Macabre
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is interesting. If you don't mind I'm going to point out some grammatical errors.

    there deeds no more > their
    Though's > those

    Other then that I don't notice anything.

    This is a confusing piece, not really sure what to think of it. To me it feels like you're saying we need to accept death as part of us.

    For we must certainly die

    Thanks for entering and good luck.


  • loche
    May 31

    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    This sounds similar in theme to my Blue Flowers Poem. It's good but it sounds like writers blockism. lol.


  • hisaddiction
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    this is gorgeous!


  • Isi
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    Although I enjoyed the read, I feel this has too negative/dark an angle to fit my contest. Good luck in your other contests!

    Isi


  • Sunday Rain
    May 18
    Edit | Reply

    o.o

    I like this


  • Fire-Fly
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting piece, it has good rhythm and good flow and is set out nicely. A good job.

    Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest.


  • natari
    May 14
    Edit | Reply
    An interesting write. Thank you so much for entering.


  • tomisb
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    To ride the wild horse of inspiration without hope of grandeur and revelation is ride in fire of what might be seen. Artist are risk taker one and all because they chose to create both large small visions that no one else might understand at all.

    Thank you for entering the contest. Best of luck.

    Peace,
    Tom B.

1 - 13 of 13