i.
love brushed his lips against mine
and I shivered on impact;
ii.
'darling' - he whispered softly
shaking the folicles on my forehead,
'I love you as violins cherish harmony.'
I breathe in and smell dedication,
as I settle back into the sheets.
iii.
'It's perfect,' you stammer, as you hear my poetic prose -
'you inspire sonatra in my soul, but I never knew I saved each pilgrimed quest on your milky bones.'
my lips trace his, as each syllable smothers my heart in healing;
'forever,' I sing to myself, under these velvet skies.
'forever and a day,' he murmurs as wakefulness passes by.
iv.
'is love plastic?'
'no, love is a chemical compound and I know just how to react.'
v.
I speak only of love as raindrops--
he felt for me, I fell for him
and all else between earths soils
and our flatlining hearts,
is just a coincidence.
Author notes
Inspired by 'Truly, Madly, Deeply.'
I hope you can understand, this is about pure love at it's best.
The love I have for him.
the love.
In a list
A contest entry
- the coruscate rounds. auditions <3 by dieu..
700 points, ended June 21, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Must Be Crazy -- Prewrites by ladybug..
1000 points, ended June 25, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites. by dieu..
601 points, ended July 6, 184 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
This is a really scattered poem. It's really great in it's imagery & emotion, but I don't feel it was brought together. Thanks for sharing.
-
yes.
however, you need to work on your grammar and imagery in the next few rounds. improper tense changes are a pet peeve of mine.
-
Yes.
I love 'iv.' -
Yes.
some parts of this need a little polishing, a bit more painting. bring that purple painting to life a little more and this would be seriously brilliant. remember, show not tell. -
One quick thing- this was the whatever-you-want option, right?
Apart from that, this is a beautiful poem and I wish you the best of luck!!!
-
it's a bit abstract for me, but I do like it. Maybe abstract isn't the best word...idk...it just kinda seemed like each little stanza didn't fit in with the rest...It is a good poem though...also, the title of the poem should be the title of the song...good luck!
Alicia Lynn and Gummi Bear
-
you spin the other bottle and get...dun dun dun..."Truly, Madly, Deeply" by Savage Garden. good luck!
Alicia Lynn and Gummi Bear
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
