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a rose



 
 
 
 
 
 
The only joy
seems to be in the silence,
the quiet fall of things,

she knows,
deep down below
she knows,

"the rose, the rose,"
Lisa exclaims,
and claps her hands,

the thorns, and the sweet chains,
I'd given her ice cream,
it melted and rained in her breasts.

Lisa says,
Is there more?
I really didn't understand it all.
 
 
 
 

Author notes

Something for everyone. (heh)
Written March 11th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Dragomiloff
    December 7, 2007
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    wow

    This is lovely. And 'lovely' is the word I use when the other ones like 'Beautiful' and 'gorgeous' fail.

  • carole21
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    confused

    nice short write . . like "the quiet fall of things" and "it melted and rained in her breasts" . . leaves the reader wondering . .


  • leopardleaf
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    Very good! I like lines 1-3! But I didn't quite understand -"Lisa says,
    Is there more?
    I really didn't understand it all." Could you mail me a clarification so I can fully enjoy the poem? I really like the flow of your poem, it works well! The rhymes are hidden yet when read they become suddely noticable! Over all great great poem! I through you a rose and blow a kiss ♥ !
    keep writing, God bless,
    ~Amber


  • Dragons Lady
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautifully written poem. I'm not sure of the meaning behind it but love the imagery. It's almost like Lisa is a child excited about a gift. Yet a woman as well. Nice poem

  • Bad Bill
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I must admit that most of your work is so enigmatic that I struggle to make sense of it--and this is no exception, but at the same time I also find it intriguing and well-worded. In a nutshell, I like your stuff without quite knowing why.

    Bill


  • storiesuntold gold member
    August 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    The first of the poem flowed well

    But on the last part I got a little lost on the final verse

  • Acidanthra
    August 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I love this one!!

    This is one good poem! I don't care what the pompous ones say... LOL

    This has great imagery. I can see each and every thing you describe. I love possessing that great mental picture!

    The emotion in this write is outstanding! I am a very emotional, empathetic (or pathetic, make your vote. LOL) person, so I enjoy reading poetry passionately.

    Great job!!


  • Candy6
    June 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    very good


  • cvillelisa
    February 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply


    You came ambling out for rice krispie treat .... I asked you what you were doing you said talking to UB and Desi in IM you said. and then blushed like this you did.

    I said write a poem.

    Well that is what I remember of course it was probably not that way at all.


  • cvillelisa
    October 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply


    oh. hi.

    im looking for somthing...

  • cvillelisa
    March 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    I never know .. it is a sympton of an overactive imagination I believe. Rumaging. Spending my daily allot of clap.


  • Abby Eyeball
    March 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Good Poem!!!

    I don't really see what this poem is saying, but I like poems like that. Ones that the reader sort of has to figure out for themselves, what it means to them, I guess... I liked this, even though I didn't really understand it, I still liked it. Great work!


  • Desiree Darkk
    March 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    It's not really all that difficult to understand. Well, we all want more. It's just sometimes we don't get it.

    Desiree

1 - 13 of 13