A pool of water created from the sky
Falling, spraying and saying good-bye
I woke to hear the thunder clap,
The lightning comes after the gap
The hose of rain ironed the land
With a beat of those in a band
My jeans are soaked to the skin
But I run with a grin
Bare feet touch the ground
So gingerly without a sound
The thunder and rain soften
Though I’ll think of it often
Author notes
picture by ambercatgoddess on photobucket.com
written for school
i dont like the first ending, i have the oringinal that i liked better
The thunder and rain soften
though it will never be forgotten
Appearently the soften and forgotten dont ryhme 
BLAH!
In a list
A contest entry
- Big, Bold, and Brilliant! [{Round One}] [{Pre-writes!}] by Abidoodlez.
400 points, ended July 30, 2009, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Writes ~ A Going Away Contest by Wrong Format.
2200 points, ended August 12, 2009, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I asked for left align and prose/freeverse only in this contest. I'm going to have to DQ this poem. sorry.
I really like all the imagery in this piece though. it's very nice. great write. -
A nicely flowing and visually beautiful poem
You did a good job with this. And as for the endings... they're both good. I think that soften and forgotten DO rhyme. Who told you they don't???
Fifty lashes with a poem filled pen for them
Keep up the good writing
Dee
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my friend and my teacher!
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This is ONE of my faves you done seasonings! I;m gunna write mine here too!
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this is pretty! I like it! greeeat work!
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