Find her and the war will follow
Overdramatic cliches to argue tomorrow
Engraving and burrowing under your skin
It's too late now you've let her in
Petty yelling over mounds
Created only by worms
That escape to the surface
Never mind the feelings
Of the ones you love
In your eyes you have clipped
The wings of a dove
But it's too late for you
You have fallen in love
By this screaming angel
Who is out to break your heart
Tell me what you think, I really do want some honest feedback
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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lol, that was better than "decent" really captured how everyone feels one time or another, keep it up
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I think that it's a bit confusing. Who is the war between? The one who has fallen in love with her and another? The one who has fallen in love and her?
Had great imagery though. I LOVED the lines "In your eyes you have clipped the wings of a dove."
It's so beautiful. It's like, in your eyes she loves you too..
My art teacher once told me, that a piece of art is never complete, there just comes a time you stop working on it.
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Nice
Not sure what form you used and the rhyme is a little off to me. But I did enjoy read. Would like to read more of your work and see if I can catch
the flow of your work. Good job and will be looking for more
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well your opening line is the best part hands down. i feel you should elaborate more on the characters and situations at hand but it was nice
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Who's it about?
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I really like this. I'm not one for criticism, even of the constructive sort, so I'm no help there, but I can tell you that I love the light-heartedness and humor about it, even though there's raw truth in it.
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