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Bleeding Rainbows

Once upon a time
When the world was black and white
I loved you.
I sketched the contours of your eyes
In chalk and charcoal

Then you told me
That what I saw was a lie;
That your eyes were  green
Not gray

That afternoon,
The soft lines of graphite
Smeared into each other,
Turning over the world...

...And the rainbows bled
Liquid ribbons seeping through the sky
Staining that azure canvas
With garish shades
Of gray
And black

And still  darker black.   

I wish I could fathom
The magic that was yours to see
What it was like to be different from me
And not
              ...colorblind.

Author notes

c i r q u e
d u
s o l e i l

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • innocence jaded.xx
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm, I really like this, though I think more parts could have been a bit more powerful. Otherwise, I love your use of imagery and how you poetically put your thoughts together. Especially:

    -...And the rainbows bled
    Liquid ribbons seeping through the sky
    Staining that azure canvas
    With garish shades
    Of gray
    And black
    ...

    That was such a stunning image.


    Thank you for entering♥


  • Kathraina silver member
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is sooo beautiful!
    I love your word usage, it creates such stunning imagery. Fantastic job with this piece.
    Bravo


    ♥ Kate


  • heavenbird
    June 4
    Edit | Reply
    this is captivating.
    i'm truly honored that you like my work. <3


  • ChunkyC
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I'm not sure what it is about this poem. But it captivated me. The rainbows, the black and white, and the colorblind. I don't know. It just made my heart drop a little bit. And your few little spurts of beautiful words, I love it. :]

    Liquid ribbons seeping through the sky
    Staining that azure canvas

    I love the image this created. It was beautiful.

    Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest. :]


  • Paloszoo gold member
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, with excellent imagery. Perhaps you may think about not capping each line. Other than that, this was a wonderful read! Thanks for writing for me and for entering my contest. I’m honored to have you show your work here!

  • OurxBeginning
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    I agree this was such a unique piece you have here. A lot of emotion and your diction is wonderful. My fav stanza is this one:

    "Once upon a time
    When the world was black and white
    I loved you.
    I sketched the contours of your eyes
    In chalk and charcoal"

    ^

    That is very beautiful. I loved the use of charcoal. Nice job and thanks for entering.


  • RainbowEyes
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    I love how unique this poem is, as well as your interpretation of the prompt. I love the beauty and meaning of it all. Very wonderfl write.


  • angelfalls.silently
    May 14
    Edit | Reply

    LOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE ITTT!!!!

    LOVE IT! wonderful idea. that your eyes were green not gray. beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • DeJaBlue gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    There is so much depth and feeling in this piece. A wonderful read from beginning to end. Nicely done.

1 - 9 of 9