Living In Illusion

**"...I want to decide between survival and bliss
and though I know who I'm not
I still don't know who I am
but I know I won't keep on playing the victim..."**
- Alanis Morrisette (Song: Precious Illusions)
(Album: Under Rug Swept)
*****

Living in illusion won't do me any good
I have to make it real...make it real I should
I can no longer depend on illusions
For my soul-nourishing food

I'm running out of fuel and running out of desire
These illusions have put me on a thin and malleable wire
I shape it according to how I want you to see
But sometimes it's just cause I want to hide the real me

It took this long for me to figure out
I don't know why I didn't take a shorter route
Illusions and dreams will do me nothing for now
I have to get out there...
Show the world what they're missing
I know I'll make it somehow...

But I need courage
Something I don't have alot of
I need motivation and encouragement
Not getting much of that type of love
But I don't know why I look on the outside to see
When the first place I should be looking is inside of me

Precious illusions always get in the way
Tainted dreams for a future
That I no longer belong in today
I need to get real...stop this rollercoaster ride
I want to get off and regain my pride

Cause living in illusion won't do me any good
I have to make it real...and make it real I should
I can no longer depend on illusions
For my soul-nourishing food

I know I'll make it...
Just not sure how...
I'm not sad or angry
Just questioning now

These illusions I will soon
Kick out the door
I don't need them now
And I don't need them anymore