And when it all comes right down to it…baby, what’s left to say?
You were my sparkling angel in the night but when I called your name hope withered like ashes in my mouth. Ashes to ashes & lust to dust, that was all you ever wanted and it’s fading from my list of acceptable things to do on a Sunday when I only ever wanted to make you h a p p y .
The hours days weeks and even months since the flashbacks and breakdowns got this much stronger, and it’s the one thing your smile can’t fix. When I fall to the ground with my arms around my knees and try to squeeze my breathe out of my [damaged] body, you know the way my throat tightens is the best way to keep from hurting you. But even though you’re all I want and all I have, commitment (and babe I have plenty) can’t stop all the things that are changing, and the fact that somehow it’s all just more of the same. [that promise I made babe, I swear I meant it back then, back when you were all I had to believe in]
With my arms crossed like a magazine supermodel and not quite meeting your eyes, you can’t tell that things just aren’t the same as they used to be. More than ever I find myself doubting all the words you once said, whether you cared, whether I was ever your one.true.love or just an innocent who would do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g for you, whether you wanted me to be happy, and whether you did what you thought would be the “easiest way” [to do what?]
I’m tired of choking on your excuses time and time again, drowning in sympathy time and time again [and it’s me feeling sorry for you somehow], the way you guilt trip me into giving you exactly.what.you.want.
&&
this life has become a little too much for this carcrash heart doll to handle, and five months eighteen days since the last time I cut, I miss it more than ever. Did you know that your heart can race when you’re alone in bed and all you want is it all to end?
God damn it I want to feel the way the blood would course through my veins with expectation instead of revulsion. I want to starve;;things were simpler at 107. (it’s been a year and a half, baby, don’t I deserve s o m e t h i n g )? I want to forget, I want to make this worth it, I want to say something to make this last.
but I don’t know what to say anymore, because you’re still the only one I’ll e*v*e*r want. But love you lied, and it’s me who’s walking away this time.
Author notes
This is Option 1, title 8.
In a list
A contest entry
- && kid; you make her wish on broken stars by XScreamMeALoveSongx.
925 points, ended May 20, 36 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? Is it too long?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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too long? no the ending was just right.
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this was amazing, a really great piece here, with a great title. keep up the great work
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This write is a very powerful piece, I loved it.
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"I’m tired of choking on your excuses time and time again, drowning in sympathy time and time again [and it’s me feeling sorry for you somehow], the way you guilt trip me into giving you exactly.what.you.want. &&
I don’t know what to say anymore, because you’re still the only one I’ll e*v*e*r want. But love you lied, and it’s me who’s walking away this time."
This whole part was written amazingly. I understand completly about being the one to feel sorry for the other person.
this stanza would actually be a very strong ending...
like put it at the bottom instead.
Amazing write.
good luck in that contest. lol i think ive entered it as well.
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thanks! I think you're right... I just changed the order a bit, I put the last half of that stanza at the end and added a little bit to make it work. Would you mind taking another look and telling me what you think of the changes?
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wow..that little change made this soo much better.
The ending is more effective now. -
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thank you!
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