She wracked her brain
Time and again,
For all her bases to cover.
But, when fled the lover
To the arms of another,
She found she had nothing to gain.
Author notes
U m i J u v a r i e l
And I figured I would keep it short and simple, since my style would've turned this so dark and depressing.
A contest entry
- Round 2 of You Never Know - Invite Only by Cyanide Dreams.
900 points, ended May 31, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comment if you wish, it is welcome.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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O.K.
Love is a most destructive emotion, especially emotions left by fled lovers. I hope you find everything to gain in the glow of love's true light.
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Ha!
Brevity is all! And you resisted the temptation to end 'nothing but pain' !!
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done masterly
I really enjoy the nursery rhyme style, and carrying such a strong point in so few words.
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Thank you so much for your comment. I loved this piece. I was able to write it without pushing myself too hard. I try to take my poetry seriously, but I couldn't help myself here.
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I like dark and depressing, but this was good nonetheless. I liked the rhyme in this and I like how the last word in the first line, rhymes with the last word of the last line. I think this could use more imagery though, show us, don't tell us. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
Josh
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Though you say you didn't want to make it depressing it already is. A love has left someone behind just when the person was getting things in their life together. There is nothing worse than feling that everything will be ok, only for a terrible turn to take place for the worst. Very sad, but a powerful short piece of work at that. Great job.
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