If you could go back
just to change one thing
What would you do different?
What outcome would it bring?
Rescript an old memory
and give it a new voice
Take a different path
Live with the right choice
I know you can't go back, but if you did
What burden on your conscience would you rid?
With your dearly departed, spend one more day?
Or stand your ground, and not run away?
I haven't had such a chance, but if you do
take your time- really think it through
But once that's done, don't forget
You'll just find a new regret.
In a list
- For People Who Love to RHYME group list • next in list
Questions/comments please?
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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Wow this is really good and so true which I found out the long way but it's one of the best lessons to ever learn, regrets are a waste of time people let them eat away their future and it's horrible to watch! Great poem!
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Good Job
Thnx for entering & Best of Luck
GloriousGift
Hebz -
Superb
'tis a fine write, indeed. Imagery; rhythm, and rhyme are just fine. Also, reminds me of an old song: "Yesterday", by the Beatles, I think.
Perhaps, you already have this info, however, if not heres a link to the guitar chords for "Yesterday":
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/b/beatles/yesterday_crd.htm
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Thanks very much for that.
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You are quite welcome.
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this made me think...i like that. Very good!!!!!!
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WOW,,,,nicley done,,,
PURE WISDOM HERE,,, what an enjoyable read,,, simply stated and conveyed to the reader,,,,points WELL made!!!,,,, thanks for sharing this one -
Outstanding!
LOVED THIS, start to finish, great questions intriguing thoughts, a top favorite! into my list this goes!
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Hehe, glad you liked it sir, thanks for the compliment.
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How true it is! This is cleverly written and constructed and I love the zinger at the end.
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This is really insightful and holds much truth. I like this so much! =]
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It's almost sad, but very much true. I like it.
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its heart warming and true
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Grand Read
I love the first part and then you closed it so well.
"If I could go back and change things...
But you can't...But if you do - Then you won't live with regret" Surely everyone should live with your poem in their head.
Thanks for the read..Jackie
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thats just swell
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haha thanks i guess
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This is powerful in the sense that it seems to indicate that for human beings the grass is always greener on the opposite side.
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awesome
really good poem.
i like it when every now and then someone just writes what they are feeling without complicated imagery.
thumbs up
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Thought Provoking
well done.
I've asked myself those same questions and answered similarly that who I am and what I've done comprise the me of who I am today..
Nice getting to know you through reading you
best wishes
stay
forever liquid -
Other than telling people again that I love them, I am who I am because of what I've done. You definitely gave me pause for thought though.
Stacy
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oh very very very good. I'm so glad I clicked on this one. 2nd stanza is my FAVORITE, but really really beautiful job on the whole thing. Nice ending, LOVE it.
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I hope you kick ass in the contest..I love this!
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Awesome
Well spoken and very nicely done.
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"I haven't had such a chance, but if you do
take your time- really think it through
But once that's done, don't forget
You'll just find a new regret."
I absolutely LOVE this stanza. I think what's really cool is that you point out that even if they change something in the past the future still holds new regrets. Brilliant.
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'Rescript an old memory
and give it a new voice
Take a different path
Live with the right choice'
I like this verse. Being free of question marks, it reads as advice. I like the idea of giving a new voice to an old memory, it's about how we take things that's important - the realtionships are more important than the objects. I wonder though whether there is a syllable too many in the last line.
Nice poem and I quite like a rhyme - use them a lot myself! -
I think reflecting is such a manner does a soul good, as long as it is tempered with reality. There are those who would criticize the rhymes but I, for one, appreciate the work requited to maintain them. Thank you.
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its funny the shapes centerlined poetry can make.
ever heard the ramones tune called pet cemetary?
i dont want to live my life again. -
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No I havent heard that one. But I will be checking it out. Thanks.
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it might be in the playlist thing on my front page. if you use the side scroll i think the ramones live close to the bottom, like #190 somethin.
peace. -
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Awesome, had a listen and read the lyrics. I never knew their lyrics were so deep, good stuff. Thanks.
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Cool! I really like this line as it makes the reader think..."I know you can't go back, but if you did
What burden on your conscience would you rid?"
and the ending has a nice sting to it. Well done.
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a good poem which you have posted - i would go back to mmm, no i would not go bak anywhere, i would carry on moving forward.
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I particularly love the last line! Rhyming is not really my thing these days, but I enjoyed the message within the poem and I think it was well conveyed. This poem will speak to a lot of people - in a positive way
Also, many thanks for your comments on my poems, it's much appreciated.
Welcome to AP and I hope you enjoy your time here
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What a great write. This piece reaches out to the masses. We all have things that we all wish that would have turned out different. Best of luck in the contest.
Caity
>Wakawaka< -
work of art
i think its speck to me -
Nicely done poem, and a subject I am sure most of think of often, the wanting to make things turn out different. But as your last lines so honestly say, we would more than likely trade one regret for another. Well done.
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Really great job...it creates an environment where the reader questions him/her self while reading it...
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Awesome
awesome! Jay, this is so well crafted-especially the last line,'You'll just find a new regret.'-I too believe that man sets new standards every time the old one is met-so yes,the present will be judgemental about the past-'the right choice'-who knows for sure what is the right choice An extremely well worded smooth paceful poem which I have enjoyed a great deal
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Superb Plus +
Ah, a wonderful write. But first you'ld need to invent a time machine, like in H. G. Wells' novel "the Time Machine. None the less, "if wishes were fishes we would all have a fry". -
Poet
Boy t my age I could think of a hundred things. But you send out a wise message. Well worded poet.
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good message. how true that is... seems it would be better to not think too hard about those things, only enough to change something we may need to in order to grow.
but too much dwelling on our regrets will only keep piling ones up.... and how depressing that could be. lol. -
the ending was somewhat profound..nice job..made me think a little. there will always be something for us to complain about or wish we could take back...
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